‘Tis the season, so here goes…
Jane was traveling to Vancouver for the Christmas holiday. Knowing how the winter weather can be in British Columbia, and lacking the appropriate clothing for inclement weather, she went to a local outdoor emporium to get outfitted. When she was unable to find what she needed, a salesman finally suggested that she try Rudolph’s.
“Rudolph’s?” Janet asked. “You mean the Russian specialty store?”
To which the salesman replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain gear…”
While Christmas shopping at a local toy store, Barry came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As he scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Wally, waiting with all the others. Knowing that Wally had no daughters or young relatives, Barry figured that Wally must like the dolls himself.
“Wally, I didn’t know you were a collector!”
“I’m not,” Wally replied.
“Then why are you standing in this long line?”
“Well, I’ve never been able to resist a barbie queue..”
A guy goes into his dentist’s office because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, “Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has almost completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?”
“Well, the only thing I can think of is my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it - Hollandaise sauce she called it - and doctor, I’m talkin’ DELICIOUS! I’ve never tasted anything like it! Ever since then I’ve been putting it on everything - meat, fish, toast, vegetables - you name it!”
“That’s probably it,” replies the dentist. “Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice which is acidic and highly corrosive. I’ll have to install a new plate but, this time, I’ll make it out of chrome.”
“Why chrome?” the man asks.
“Well, everyone knows there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise…”