The Internet is ablaze with a grand idea. Instead of bailing out AIG to the tune of $85 billion, why not divide the money among all 200 million or so U.S. adults? That gives $425,000 to every man and woman — $297,500 after taxes — at least according to the dozen or so emails I’ve received from readers including, most recently, my goombah, Michael. Great! Where do I sign up?
There’s just one small problem with the proposed plan: It only works out to $425 per person, not $425,000. Someone needs a refresher course in decimals. Oops.
Here’s the email:
I’m against the $85,000,000,000 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18 and older. Our population is about 301,000,000 counting every man, woman and child, so 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So dividing 200 million into $85 billion equals $425,000. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18 and older as a We Deserve It Dividend.
Of course, it would not be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every eligible individual would pay $127,500 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500 in their pocket. A husband and wife have $595,000.
What would you do with $297,500 - $595,000 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads.
Put away money for college - it’ll be there.
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs.
Invest in the market - capital drives growth.
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance - health care improves.
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else.
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And, of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 (“vote buy”) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen over 18!
As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up. Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.
Sure it’s a crazy idea that can never work. But can you imagine the coast-to-coast block party? How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC. And remember, The Family Plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest. I wish they’d called sooner.
All right, so the math was wrong and the WDID actually works out to only $425 per person. That’s still better than the stick in the eye we’re about to get, isn’t it?