Frank Caliendo’s parody of an Al Gore movie sequel from his new show, Frank TV, on TBS.

Thanks Shannan!

This just in from Mike…

In a news conference earlier this morning, Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Green Bay Packers during the Playoffs. She claims she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Pack. Because of this, she understands how to pick up a corner blitz and knows the terminology of the Packers offense.

A poll of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled support the move.

Sounds absurd, doesn’t it? Yet Hillary Clinton makes essentially the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President… And 50% of democrats polled agree.

Looking for a children’s book as a last minute stocking stuffer for conservative little Billy this Christmas? Well, here’s a novel idea: Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed! Yes, it’s a real children’s book apparently aimed at teaching youngsters the value of hard work and the evil of taxes. I’m serious. No, really.

My favorite illustrator, John Cox, came up with this illustration that echoes, I think, public sentiment. Many believe we are abandoning our nation’s manufacturing roots in favor of becoming a country that makes nothing and buys everything from abroad but likes to think we’ll be dominant in the development of technology (with any related manufacturing, of course, being outsourced offshore.) Whew! Long sentence!

I think we’re deluding ourselves. We could regain our dominance in manufacturer if we simply uncoupled ourselves from trade unions. Why can’t we compete in auto manufacturing, even against Japanese auto makers who manufacture cars right here in the U.S.A.? Because the Japanese car makers are exempt from our trade unions. Not a level playing field, is it. But what are we doing about it? Nothing.

Anyway, I thought John’s illustration was particularly poignant at this time of year when we’re concerned about unsafe toys from China. Fisher-Price, Mattel - many of this country’s major toy manufacturers - have outsourced the manufacturing of their toys to China, and quality and safety have suffered. Not too many years ago, Americans wouldn’t have accepted poor quality. But we’ve become “sheeple,” too lazy to control our own government. I hope we come to our senses.

Via Grouchy Old Cripple…

My mother-in-law sent this with the caption, “Ask the American Indians what happens when you don’t control your borders.”

The graphic has been in use for a few years, at least since 2005, and is usually found on t-shirts or bumper stickers. I was surprised to learn, though, just how many opinion pieces had been written about it and what writers believe it means.

Some, it turns out, see it as an affront to native Americans or believe that those who display the graphic are America haters. Joseph Farah’s article is an example. I thought he had completely missed the point, but it got me thinking. So I looked again at the graphic, this time without the caption that had accompanied it, and decided that he just might have a point or two.

But when I view the graphic in the context of the accompanying caption, I see it the way I suspect it was originally intended, to illustrate the importance of border security by implying (with tongue in cheek) that, had native Americans protected their borders against the invading European terrorists, the complexion of America might today be quite different.

I think as a society we need to develop a collective thicker skin and stop looking for things to find offensive. What do you think?

Did you watch the CNN-YouTube Republican Debate last night? If not, I’ve linked to YouTube’s handy video recap of all the televised questions and the candidates’ answers so you can do so at your leisure.

I found Question #4 and the responses from Congressmen Tom Tancredo and Duncan Hunter particularly telling. See what you think.

The story floating around the blogosphere this morning, though, is about how many of CNN’s selected video questioners were apparently Democrat plants. Nationally syndicated Michele Malkin has been following the story:

“Abortion questioner is declared Edwards supporter (and a slobbering Anderson Cooper fan); Log Cabin Republican questioner is declared Obama supporter; lead toy questioner is a prominent union activist for the Edwards-endorsing United Steelworkers…”

CNN introduced them all as “undecided Republicans.” Makes you wonder about their ability to perform simple due-diligence, doesn’t it? Worth following.

Did you watch the YouTube debate in July? CNN and YouTube’s live forum featured video questions submitted to YouTube which were broadcast and answered by Democratic candidates on CNN. CNN’s Anderson Cooper moderated the two-hour debate and posed follow-up questions. The Republican counterpart is scheduled for November 28. For the first time in presidential debate history, user-generated video will have driven two unprecedented debates. I plan on tuning in.

There’s already been much debate about the effectiveness of the format. On the one hand, many believe it marks a new era in American politics, where citizen journalism gets its moment in the limelight. On the other hand, CNN is the sole arbiter of what videos are shown and questions asked. (I was a little concerned that at least four of the questions were posed by puppets.) And many feel the format marks a low point in American politics with serious discourse put in the hands of the same people who watched a video of a baby giggling 27 million times. So I suppose the ball is still in the air as to whether the whole exercise will prove to have been good for the American public.

If you watched the first debate, you’ll recognize the key players in this spoof. A would-be Anderson Cooper moderates.

Dawn had lunch Wednesday with Pete, our company’s insurance broker, at a midtown restaurant frequented by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. She’d hoped to get a photo of him and, sure enough, there was a “sighting” just as Pete had all but promised.

Now, it probably goes without saying that Arnold doesn’t enter through the restaurant’s front door. No, the restaurant owners built a special room at the rear of the restaurant for the Governor’s private use and he enters through the rear entrance. But not before his security detail — the guys with the telltale earphones and whispering into their sleeves — walked the room checking, I suppose, for suspicious and unsavory diners.

But try as she did, Dawn was unprepared for Arnold’s brisk post-lunch exit and her big photo op. First, she’d forgotten her camera. But, quick thinker that she is, she grabbed her iPhone, fired it up, and got a shot of Arnold as he was leaving the restaurant. He walked right by her!

Unfortunately, by the time she got the iPhone cranked up, he was nearly out the door. Determined to get a better photo, she ran outside and grabbed this shot of Arnold’s SUV… speeding away.

She, of course, didn’t want me to post the photos. I, of course, couldn’t resist. But she’s been a good sport about all the teasing - “Are you sure that’s Arnold?” - I’ve heaped upon her. “Next time,” I assured her.

Who knew being an underpaid (but much loved and appreciated) paparazzi would be so difficult?

This column has made the rounds over the years since it was first penned in 1993 by Chicago Tribune columnist Mike Royko (1932-1997), but it’s just as poignant today. And while I didn’t always agree with him, I think Mike was right on target here.

I just phoned six friends and asked them what they will be doing on Monday.

They all said the same thing: working.

Me, too.

There is something else we share. We are all military veterans.

And there is a third thing we have in common. We are not employees of the federal government, state government, county government, municipal government, the Postal Service, the courts, banks, or S & Ls, and we don’t teach school.

If we did, we would be among the many millions of people who will spend Monday goofing off.

Which is why it is about time Congress revised the ridiculous terms of Veterans Day as a national holiday.

The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor all veterans.

So how does this country honor them?

By letting the veterans, the majority of whom work in the private sector, spend the day at their jobs so they can pay taxes that permit millions of non-veterans to get paid for doing nothing.

As my friend Harry put it:

“First I went through basic training. Then infantry school. Then I got on a crowded, stinking troop ship that took 23 days to get from San Francisco to Japan. We went through a storm that had 90 percent of the guys on the ship throwing up for a week.

“Then I rode a beat-up transport plane from Japan to Korea, and it almost went down in the drink. I think the pilot was drunk.

“When I got to Korea, I was lucky. The war ended seven months after I got there, and I didn’t kill anybody and nobody killed me.

“But it was still a miserable experience. Then when my tour was over, I got on another troop ship and it took 21 stinking days to cross the Pacific.

“When I got home on leave, one of the older guys at the neighborhood bar — he was a World War II vet — told me I was a ——head because we didn’t win, we only got a tie.

“So now on Veterans Day I get up in the morning and go down to the office and work.

“You know what my nephew does? He sleeps in. That’s because he works for the state.

“And do you know what he did during the Vietnam War? He ducked the draft by getting a job teaching at an inner-city school.

“Now, is that a raw deal or what?”

Of course that’s a raw deal. So I propose that the members of Congress revise Veterans Day to provide the following:

- All veterans — and only veterans — should have the day off from work. It doesn’t matter if they were combat heroes or stateside clerk-typists.

- Anybody who went through basic training and was awakened before dawn by a red-neck drill sergeant who bellowed: “Drop your whatsis and grab your socks and fall out on the road,” is entitled.

- Those veterans who wish to march in parades, make speeches or listen to speeches can do so. But for those who don’t, all local gambling laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to enlisted men’s club prices, Officers can pay the going rate, the stiffs.

- All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct, non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and disgusting public behavior that does not harm another individual.

- It will be a treasonable offense for any spouse or live-in girlfriend (or boyfriend, if it applies) to utter the dreaded words: “What time will you be home tonight?”

- Anyone caught posing as a veteran will be required to eat a triple portion of chipped beef on toast, with Spam on the side, and spend the day watching a chaplain present a color-slide presentation on the horrors of VD.

- Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the opportunity to serve in the military, but didn’t, will be allowed to make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his office for the entire day.

Any politician who defies this ban will be required to spend 12 hours wearing headphones and listening to tapes of President Clinton explaining his deferments.

Now, deal the cards and pass the tequila.

Mike Royko

Amen, Mike. And for the record, just about every veteran I know is working today, too!

Whether or not you have today off, I hope you take a minute to thank the veterans you know for their service. And if you’re a veteran yourself: Thank you.

Contrary to what you might have heard from our mainstream media, the “global warming” debate rages on. And while there’s no contesting there have been slight increases in global temperature in its relative recent history, it should be noted that there have been similar temperature fluctuations, both hot and cold, throughout Earth’s longer history.

I’ve considered as much global warming “science” as I’ve been able to digest and concluded that what we’re experiencing, this phenomenon that’s made more than a few careers and become a darling of our mainstream media, is no more than a natural occurrence. And mass marketing at its finest.

I’m certainly not alone in my semi-scientific conclusions. John Stossel’s recent “Give Me a Break” segment about global warming asserts that much, if not most, “scientific” data we’ve been fed comes from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), a group of “2000 scientists who agree” that global warming is being caused by humans. Included in that group are members of Greenpeace and other activist groups as well as governments that have supported the Kyoto treaty.

Now, I’m no scientist. But when you scrutinize the supporting data proffered by global warming activists, it becomes abundantly clear that it’s being manipulated to support a preconceived theory rather than reach a scientific conclusion based on historical data. Why? Because there are careers now being supported by a segment of the public’s belief that, if we stop driving SUVs, we can affect the relationship between the planet and the sun. Have our egos gotten the better of our senses? We’re being scammed!

And the scam is being supported by any number of Hollywood elitists (read, actors who crave media face time) and other hangers-on who want to feel relevant by association. And our liberal media, let’s not forget its roll. It loves any excuse to report things controversial or, at the least, alarming.

Understand that I’m not holding Stossel up as an expert, and I certainly don’t always agree with him, but he does try to clear away the hype and give us a view through the prism of logic and common sense. And sometimes, when presented with the simple basics, the smoke and mirrors fall away. Give the video below a watch and see if you don’t come away with, at the very least, a better understanding of the relevant issues and the key players. The debate is by no means over.

Still undecided about which Presidential candidate to support? Davey sent this short quiz designed to find out which candidates are most aligned with your views and opinions.

Based on the original Select a Candidate Survey (link) developed by Minnesota Public Radio, the quiz isn’t meant to pick your candidate for you. Rather, it’s designed to inform the public of the various stances candidates make.

According to the directions, you may skip questions if you don’t want them factored into the results. And the results, while not scientific, may surprise you. My top candidate, for example, is one I know absolutely nothing about!

According to this Associated Press story, one of our whack-a-doodle U.S. Senators, a barber with a law degree (an interesting combination) has done just that:

Fed up with the threats, tired of natural disasters, the state’s longest-serving state senator is using his legal muscle against who he says is the culprit — God. State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued the Almighty in Douglas County District Court last week.

Chambers, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, said he filed the lawsuit to show that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody…

Chambers, incidentally, once sued to bar legislative prayers in the Nebraska Legislature. The Supreme Court ultimately rejected the lawsuit.

Will somebody please tell me why the good people of Nebraska keep re-electing this guy? Not that he’s the only whack-a-doodle we have in Congress, but give me a break!

Hillary Clinton has a new bumper sticker that is appropriate whether Democrat or Republican. It says, “Run, Hillary, Run”.

Democrats put it on the back… Republicans put it on the front.

(Didn’t believe me, did ya’?)

I had hoped since my last post about Eric and the grave injustice that has befallen him to be telling you that his appeal was successful and that he was returning home. Sadly, that is not the case.

For those of you just learning of Eric’s conviction in Nicaragua for a murder the evidence proves he could not have committed, he continues to languish in a Nicaraguan prison awaiting the results of his appeal. While Nicaraguan law requires a ruling within thirty days on all appeals, Eric’s has yet to see the light of day after some seven months! His health is suffering and now there is talk of moving him to another cell block, one housing convicted criminals who have lost their appeals. Should they do so, another violation of Nicaraguan law, his safety will be in jeopardy.

The one shining light in Eric’s life has been the love and support of his family and the growing international legion of friends who work tirelessly for his release. Eric has been writing letters from his cell, a privilege he may soon lose or that may be curtailed. Take a few minutes to read some of them which have been published on the Friends of Eric Volz website.

You’ve heard of Americans being unjustly thrown into prisons in third world countries and never seen again. Don’t let that become Eric’s fate. You can help by going to the website, learning about his case, perhaps donating some money to help in his legal defense and, of equal importance, by contacting your elected officials and demanding that our government intervene on Eric’s behalf. Here again are links to your congressional representatives:

Senators

Congresspersons

You don’t often get an opportunity to step up to the plate to right a wrong. This is your chance. Take it.