Blame Dennis for this groaner…

Back in the days of the Old West, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food. No other people had been seen for days. And then they saw an old Rabbi sitting beneath a tree.

The wagon train leader rushed to him and said, “We’re lost and running out of food. Is there someplace ahead where we can get provisions?

“Vell,” the old Rabbi replied, “I vouldn’t go up dat hill und down d’other side. Somevun told me you’ll run into a big bacon tree.”

“A bacon tree?” asked the wagon train leader.

“Yah, ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nuttin vud I lie.”

The leader returned to the wagon train and told the pioneers that if nothing else, they might be able to find food on the other side of the next ridge. “So why did he say not to go there?” some pioneers asked. “Oh, you know the Jewish, they don’t eat bacon. It’s against their religion,” the leader replied.

So the wagon train went up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attacked and massacred everyone except the leader, who managed to escape back to the old Rabbi, who was enjoying a “glassel tea.”

The near-dead man shouted. “You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians who killed everyone.”

The old Rabbi held up his hand and said, “Oy, vait a minute.” He reached in his pack and pulled out an English-Yiddish dictionary and began thumbing through it.

‘Gevalt, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree, it vuz a ham bush!