Two boys in Chicago were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck.

A newspaper reporter from the Chicago Tribune witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline, “Brave Young Cubs Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal.”

“But I’m not a Cubs fan,” the little hero interjected.

“Sorry,” replied the reporter,” but since we’re in Chicago, I just assumed you were.” Hitting the delete key, the reporter began, “Barack Obama Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack.”

“But I’m not an Obama fan either,” the boy responded.

The reporter said, “I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Cubs or Obama. What team or person do you like?”

“I’m an Arizona Diamondbacks fan and I really like John McCain,” the boy said.

Hitting the delete key, the reporter began again: “Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet…”