The Internet Is No Longer a Series of Tubes
Ted Stevens Loses his Senate Seat
Convicted felon Ted Stevens has lost his re-election bid for the Alaska Senate seat which he held for the last, oh, eleventy-hundred years. While in the Senate, Stevens gained notoriety for bringing home epic quantities of pork barrel projects, being convicted of a felony, and, how could we forget, comparing the Internet to a series of tubes during a debate on Net Neutrality legislation:
“They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.”
But now that Alaskans have routed him from office by a whopping 3,724 vote margin, we must now deal with the aftermath of his absence from the Senate.
The Internet is no longer a series of tubes.
Just as Alaska has moved on and found another Senator, we too must move on and find another ridiculously inaccurate characterization for the Internet. Help me out…continue reading
Doug
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Reader Comments (17)
Hilarious article! I love your blog, read it a couple times a day at work. I work in Security which can be pretty boring sometimes and you help me make it through my shift! The satire is right on!
Good riddance to bad rubbish!! If we could now just get rid of the rest of the slimy politicians like him, we would be better off.
Keep the political humor coming! We need to see the funny side lest we become cynical.
Wait....You're saying it's NOT a series of tubes? OMG!
"The Internet is a pulled pork sandwich" is my fav. When there is too much information, it spills over into you lap :D)
Oh noz don't tangled up my personal internetz!
I just want to know what they plan to do with all the leftover tubes. I can think of a good use for them in D.C. :O
So I guess the internet IS "a big truck" after all?
The GOP is a series of boobs.....
Stevens gets the last laugh. The web IS a series of tubes....YouTube, GodTube, JewTube, SportsTube etc. What a visionary!
Let's not forget what Stevens was trying to accomplish. He is a neutricidal maniac who wanted to allow the phone companies to charge Google and others for delivering their packets to you. To make his case, he gave the now famous description of his understanding of how the internet works. For those of you who may have forgotten, here's the meat of his argument:
He may have been trying to simplify the internet for the rest of the non-tech Senators, but he was lobbying for the phone companies who probably paid, or would have paid, a fortune to him if he had been successful. Glad to see him crash and burn.
A series of tubes. That would be ridiculous.
The Internet is made up of pipes and hoses.
Check out this really kool tee shirt you can buy and wear to explain the net to your friends.....
LOL, dude that’s great!
Anyone with a knowledge of routers and the queuing of packets would see the "series of tubes" metaphor as a perfect lay explanation for how packets move through the internet.
But people seem to be more interested in ridicule than in understanding, so the metaphor is lost on them.
The pulled "pork" sandwich is a perfect characterization of Stevens and his relationship to the Internet. He was the pork king!
dudes and dudettes, I totally saw the internet's insides today and he was right, it's a series of tubes. weird.....
LOL funny! I’d send you an internet, but I am not sure it would fit in the tubes. :)