If you’re like me, your in-box is blessed with regular malware and phishing emails aimed at disrupting your blissful computer life or fleecing you of your hard earned money. Most of you recognize and delete them without much thought. But a few of you take the bait and that’s what keeps the perpetrators in business. Here’s an example I received this morning:

CNN, San Clemente, CA - Major Problems have been occured at San Clemente Nucklear Power Station - 20-year old circuit breaker fails to close, creating a 4,000-volt arc and fire. Possible radiation leaks on 100miles area. Evacuation process has been started - View current video-clip.

Clicking on the “link” usually results in the unintentional download of malware - a virus, worm, trojan or, in some cases, a carefully installed robot that secretly inducts your computer into an army of other computers controlled by the perpetrator. In some cases, perpetrators gain unfettered access to your hard drive, even monitor your every keystroke, and then steal your identity. It’s no wonder experts advise you not to “take the bait”, even if it appears to be from a friend.

More often than not, the bait email is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, so it’s immediately suspect.

”Advance Fee” schemes are a little different. We’ve all received one variant or another, but new and creative ploys still regularly grace our in-boxes. Here’s a simple one I received last week:

Dearest One,

I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we
have not known or met ourselves previously I am asking for your assistance
after I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you. I want to find out if it’s possible
for you to deal with individual as to investment. I came across your profile and I
feel it’s highly reputable that is why I pick an? interest getting across to you in respect of
investment at my disposal. I will be so glad if you can allow me and lead me to the
right channel towards your assistance to my situation now. I would like to use this opportunity
to introduce myself to you.
I am Sandra James 22Years Old Lady from (cote d ivore) ,the only daughter
of Late Micheal James , My father is now late he was a well known cocoa
and gold merchant business man in my country( cote d ivore) ,he was poisoned
by his co-business partner a year ago. The main reason why I am contacting you now
is to seek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also for a help hand over some huge amount of money in my possession. This fund ( US5.6 Million dollars) is deposited
in a bank in my country in (cote d’ivoire) a years ago by my father he made me the sole
beneficiary.I am now asking you to stand on my behalf,to stand as my partner and
in time of the claim and investment as well. I have made up my mind to offer you 13%of the
total money while the remaining will go into a productive investment. Pls attach your
direct and full information as you reply to me.
Thanks and remain bless.

Best Regards
Sandra James

Doesn’t her “heartful of tears” just tug at your , uh, heartstrings? Mine too! So much so that I think I’ll respond by telling her I’ll be be more than happy to help launder her money if she’ll just tell me how much I need to send her to get things rolling. Why? Just to pull her chain like she’s trying to yank mine. I’ll keep you posted.