An Alabama couple, both bona fide rednecks, had nine children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed”.

The doctor started the procedure and asked what had finally made them make the decision after nine offspring?

The husband explained that they had heard on the TV that one out of every ten children being born in the United States is Mexican, and neither one of them could speak Spanish…

My cousin, Mike, sent me a wmv video clip of an amazing woman that so moved me, I wanted to learn more about her. Here are a few things I gleaned about this wonderful American; it’s my Patriot’s Journey post for today.

Kaziah Hancock is a professional artist from Manti, Utah, who now devotes all of her work to painting portraits, for free, of U.S. military personnel killed in the Middle East. She’s also founded Project Compassion, a non-profit organization comprised of a group of very special artists who share her goal.

A December 2006 American Forces Press Services article provides more information about Kaziah, Project Compassion and how you can help. Meanwhile, watch this moving video of Kaziah explaining why she does what she does.

Don’t forget to check out the other Patriotic Journeyers… JimK, Scott, Larry, Drumwaster, and Cosmicbabe.

Michael sent this clever parody by Sarcastic Gamer of Microsoft’s announced Surface computer, a table featuring a 30-inch multi-touch display, much like the one Jeff Han introduced at TED 2006 only running Windows Vista. It reminds me of the old Pac-Man table video games that used to proliferate cocktail lounges. The parody is pretty funny. Microsoft plans to release the Surface in the winter of 2007 for an estimated $10,000…

Touchscreen technology in various forms has been around for years but only recently has anyone matched it to practical applications. Jeff Han and his company,  Perceptive Pixel,  are producing (and shipping) a wall-mounted unit, the latest version of which consists of two 8’X3’ panels that, for my money (if I had any), offers a more useful form factor and more advanced technology. You can watch a three minute video presentation of their offering here. And there’s a great article in the February issue of Fast Company about Jeff Han, the inventor, and his vision for the technology here.  

The evolving technology is mind boggling. And we’ll be the beneficiaries. The future looks exciting!

If you have kids, you remember with fondness many priceless moments like this. If you’re planning on having kids, well, enjoy the ride and keep a camera handy!

H.T. to Tim. Click on the image to see the entire series.

A member of my Lodge sent a reminder of some of the new laws supposedly taking effect July 1 along with their related fines. It was subsequently published in the Lodge newsletter and I’ve since received two or three more emails addressing the same information.  Some of you have probably received similar notifications. The purported changes include:

* Carpool lane - First time offense, $1068.50! Second time, double!! Third time, triple!!! Fourth time, license suspended!

* Improper lane change - $380. Don’t cross the solid line or change lanes in an intersection.

* Cell phones - Use must be “hands free” while driving. Fine is $285. Police will be aggressively looking for this; it’s easy money. Cell phone use in a construction zone - Double the fine.

* Passengers over 18 must be seat belted (both the offending passengers and driver get ticketed.)

* Speeding - the “grace limit” is now 3 mph above the posted limit. (No more 10% grace.)

* DUI = Jail! And it stays on your driving record for 10 years!

Folks, this is a hoax! While some traffic laws and fines did change in 2007, the sheer absurdity of some of these purported fines made me think twice. For more information, consult  your state’s 2007 Vehicle Code.

For those of you unfamiliar with Eric’s situation, he is an American citizen languishing in a Nicaraguan prison having been, as the evidence would overwhelmingly seem to suggest, wrongly convicted of raping and killing his former girlfriend. He was convicted in February and is awaiting an appeal court’s ruling due sometime this month. You can review the issues and facts in an article I posted in March.

For Eric’s family and those of us convinced of his innocence, the ruling cannot come too soon. Once it’s announced, I’ll post another update. Meanwhile, take some time to review the case and this related recent newspaper article.

And please keep Eric and his family in your prayers. If all goes well, he’ll be a free man by month’s end.

One of the many wonderful things I love about America is baseball. And despite the popularity in this country of gridiron football and basketball, also American-bred sports, it’s still the game that most Americans recognize as their “national pastime.”

While we don’t have a major league team in Sacramento, we are blessed to host a fine triple-A team, the Sacramento River Cats. We can go out to Raley Field during the summer, enjoy hotdogs, peanuts, beer - even “salmon tacos” - and watch some great Pacific League baseball. And if that doesn’t give us our fill, an hour and a half away are the Oakland A’s and the San Francisco Giants.

I snapped this image from our seats at Raley Field during one of our family outings. It’s a great venue and fun for the whole family. It’s no wonder it’s America’s “national pastime.”

For an extensive history of baseball, jump over to this site. And remember to check out the other Patriotic Journeyers… JimK, Scott, Larry, Drumwaster, and Cosmicbabe.

…What’s the point?

Thanks Bob!

I posted this humorous exchange from the National Review on the AFP website last year . It’s still funny.

[Enter Husband from left. He has just taken a shower and is wearing only a towel fixed round his waist.]

Wife [pointing at husband’s fairly ample midriff]: What’s that?

Husband: That? That’s my embonpoint.

W: Your what?

H: Embonpoint. That’s my embonpoint.

W: That’s not a word.

H: Is so.

W: Well, it’s not an English word.

H: If it’s in the dictionary, it is. I bet it’s in the dictionary.*

W: It’s flab, that’s what it is.

H: Embonpoint.

W: Flab. Gut. Beer belly. You should get rid of it.

H [feigning outrage]: Get rid of my embonpoint? Never!

W: Om bom pom, phooey. You give it fancy name, doesn’t make it beautiful. It’s flab. You need to exercise more.

H: No time. Too busy working to support my family.

W [scornfully]: Hah! You worked much harder when we first got married, but didn’t have om bom pom. What happened to your six-pack?

H: It’s there.

W: Where?

H: Under my embonpoint.

—

*True

Hey, whadaya know…

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

suck (2x)   hurt (1x)

“Hurt”!? Gee, I thought I’d at least rate a PG-13!

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar. Turns out they’re Siamese twins and they wind up back at his apartment.

He makes love to one and then starts to work on the other. He thinks the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she’d like to do.

She replies, “Is that a trombone in the corner? I’d love to play your trombone.”

So she plays it while he makes love to her sister. A few weeks later, the girls are walking past his apartment building. One says, “Let’s stop up and see that guy.”

The other asks, “Gee… Do you think he’ll remember us?”

Thanks Michael!

I don’t remember the context of this photo nor its origin, but it gave me a chuckle…

This comes via Michael…

The golfing world is celebrating a new invention that promises to revolutionize the sport. The new device is called the “bee nut.”

Basically a fastening attachment that allows players to adjust the heads on their clubs to any angle, it eliminates the need to carry a bagful of clubs. Players can use the same club to drive, putt or get out of a sand trap.

Golf clubs with the new modification are selling quickly, and players are taking golfing “picnics” so they can try their new “bee-nut putter sand-wedge.”

OUCH! That actually hurt!

I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I haven’t ridden public transportation since high school. Oh, there was the time a few years ago when, during record freezing temperatures, wifey and I found ourselves stranded at Chicago’s Adler Planetarium (they were closed) and couldn’t get a cab company to answer our frantic phone calls, let alone rescue us. In desperation, we set out on foot toward Lakeshore Drive, only our eyes peeking out from behind heavy scarves, and worried about frostbite. (Those of you in or from Chicago know what I mean.) Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a city bus magically appeared and welcomed us aboard. Never were two people more relieved to see a bus than we!

Anyway, we haven’t ridden public transportation since. (Head down, tail between legs.) And its a shame, because Sacramento apparently has a pretty decent Regional Transit system . We’ve told ourselves for the last couple years that we would try our wings on the light rail between Folsom and somewhere in Sacramento, then ride it back, just to get our feet wet. And we will. Maybe even this weekend. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Coincidentally, I recently met (online) an RT driver (his web site is aptly named RT Driver) and feel like I now have “a guy” — you know, an insider — who can point us in the right direction, show us the ropes so to speak. As you know, having “a guy” is important in getting good sporting event seating, premiere concert tickets and, I assume, the inside scoop on riding the RT.

I’ve also discovered a local who embarked on a quest to leave his car at home and commute using public transportation, a brave soul for sure. He writes about his experiences on another aptly titled web site: RT Rider (No, I don’t think they’re related.) I can probably gain some insight from him as well.

So I found it particularly timely to learn that one of the folks participating with me in this year’s Partiot’s Journey commutes via public transportation in Portland. I enjoy her writing and found this short post (The problem with public transit is the public) light and fun. Give it a read.

So now you know my dirty little secret. Be gentle…