I’m a beta tester for extranormal, a site that enables people to make primitive animated movies. Like this one…

Silly, I know, but you can see what fun can be had making them. You pick your characters and setting - these are co-workers in an office - then type your dialogue. The characters act and speak your script. I’ll post more as I get time and, uh, inspiration.

Michael sent me this Application For Federal Bailout Program from Vanity Fair (Lord knows I could sure use one!) in response to Thursday’s post and I thought I’d share it with readers.

Maybe if enough of us apply, Hank Paulson and the boys on the Hill will be moved to grant a bailout for us poor taxpayers.

Of course, the rub will be deciding who’ll pay for it. Maybe Wall Street, once they clean up their act with the $700 Billion we sent them.

That would be fair, don’t you think? We scratched their backs, now they can scratch ours?

Yeah, right. Fat chance.

Anyway, here’s the form (click to enlarge). Paulson has his pen and checkbook ready. Hurry while supplies last.

Another movie trailer mash-up from Blinks. Coming soon to a theater near you…

The fire sale on government bailouts continues, with the Big 3 U.S. automakers the latest hopeful recipients. Chris Isidore’s article for CNNMoney.com talks about how our “givmint”, trying to appear due diligent as though watching out for already beleaguered taxpayers, is seeking a few symbolic sacrifices and assurances from automakers that the requested bailouts will “git ‘er done”.

What I want to know is how I can get on the “A” list for a bailout. I’ll promise to get rid of any corporate jets we might have, I’ve already taken a pay cut, and I promise that, with the help of, say, a puny $10 Billion, I’ll be profitable in three years immediately. So where do I sign up? Anybody?

Got this PSA from Mike and several others…

The Black Widow spider (Latrodectus variolus) is one of only a few poisonous spiders in the United States. It’s bite releases a neurotoxin into its victim that, if not treated, can lead to death.

After mating with a male, the female often sucks the life out of him (see spider cannibalism).

The female Black Widow is easily recognizable; she is black with a noticeably broad, bulbous backside and a bright red hourglass shaped marking on her underside.

Black Widows can be found in closets, wood piles, under beds, and

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Ted Stevens Loses his Senate Seat

Convicted felon Ted Stevens has lost his re-election bid for the Alaska Senate seat which he held for the last, oh, eleventy-hundred years. While in the Senate, Stevens gained notoriety for bringing home epic quantities of pork barrel projects, being convicted of a felony, and, how could we forget, comparing the Internet to a series of tubes during a debate on Net Neutrality legislation:

“They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.”

But now that Alaskans have routed him from office by a whopping 3,724 vote margin, we must now deal with the aftermath of his absence from the Senate.

The Internet is no longer a series of tubes.

Just as Alaska has moved on and found another Senator, we too must move on and find another ridiculously inaccurate characterization for the Internet. Help me out…continue reading

I’d deliver this shameless solicitation in a plain brown wrapper if I knew enough code to wrap it. I don’t, so…

Weakly Web Wit is a free email subscription “researched and produced, then dragged kicking & screaming to your in-box each week” by my good friend, Michael, who adds, “Material may sometimes be deemed questionable at best. Viewer discretion and a modicum of adult acceptance are advised. Not meant to offend any particular group; we try to offend everyone equally!”

Michael scours the ‘Net, grabs what he considers the “good stuff” (informative and/or witty), then compiles and emails it once a week to his growing list of undiscerning readers. Want to be one of them? Did I mention it’s free? Here’s how to get on “the list”: Send a postage-paid email to wwebwit@gmail.com and tell Michael you’re cautiously willing to give it a try. It’s that easy. And did I mention it’s free?

If you like it, your eternal gratitude, and Michael’s, will be my reward. If you don’t, blame him! (I’ll swear I never heard of it!)

Just happened upon this video on Bizarroblog and thought it was pretty amazing. Says Dan, “My favorite is the bank robbery. Nothing grisly here, so no fear for the squeamish. Sorry about the hideous music.”

As promised, here are the winners in our 2nd Annual Thanksgiving Hand Turkey Drawing Contest. Extra points were awarded for little kids’ entries, but there were a few “big kids” who received Honorable Mentions as well. Thanks to everyone that participated! Winners receive a coveted 1-year free subscription to Inessential Musings and the admiration of their parents and friends! Whoo Hoo!

Grand Prize goes to Janet (4) for this wonderful Thanksgiving scene:

First, Second and Third Places go to…

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