I received this the other day as a statement stuffer from my home alarm service alerting me to a potential auto theft vulnerability:

Pretty alarming, yes? So I checked it out in all the usual places. What I learned put me a little more at ease. According to an article on snopes, car thieves have and still can steal cars this way but it’s less common than the above article might lead you to believe. Still, a little 3X5 card over your windshield VIN plate can’t hurt, especially if you’re driving a fancy luxury car that might attract car thieves.

Personally, I’m a believer in LoJack. These days, you can’t be too careful.

We’ve all been to meetings where someone’s asked for more than 100 percent. And haven’t you ever wondered about those in attendance who claim they’re already giving more than 100 percent? How is that even possible?

Well, it apparently can be done! Here’s the formula for certain success in over achievement:

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

then,

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

and

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

But

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So it stands to reason that if hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it takes old fashioned bullshit to put you over the top.

And just look how far

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

will take you!

Remember the ads that read, “Draw Me!” or “Are You an Artist?” They used to run in magazines and on matchbooks, enticing would-be artists into “auditioning” for an opportunity to receive an art course from an official sounding art school.

I remember them well, even drew the side profile of a woman’s head when I was about 10. I didn’t win, of course, but was offered the opportunity to “buy” their course because I “showed great promise as an artist.” Like the fellow in this well done short film, I believed my submission was a masterpiece. But I handled the rejection a little differently…

Completed in August of 2003, this short, comedic film was written and directed by Jeff Hopkins, a writer-director living in Los Angeles, whose previous works include writing “P1” an audience favorite at the Palm Springs Film Festival, and “Vacancy” a winner of the Kan Film Festival. It stars David Snell, a series regular on the Emmy-award winning crime-drama The Shield.

Before the day is over, I want to thank one more veteran for her sacrifice and military service. I’ve known her for a long time and know first hand how proud she was to serve her country.

She joined the U.S. Navy after high school over the objections of her father, who wanted her to finish college before considering military service, and spent five long years away from home as a cryptographer stationed in Adak, Alaska, Pearl Harbor and at sea. She held a Top Secret security clearance and handled Top Secret intelligence on a daily basis, the same kind of sensitive classified data that landed John Walker Jr. in federal prison for selling to the Soviets.

She spent months at sea, often shadowed for days by Russian ships. She became highly proficient with 9mm handguns, M-14s and M-16s, consistently taking top honors in shooting competitions. And for a time she worked in a military correctional institute in direct contact with prisoners.

Like all our deployed service men and women, she was sometimes homesick. But she was dedicated and did her job proudly and well.

Today she sometimes jokes about her Navy days - I think all vets do that from time to time - but what she was doing was serious and necessary. This Navy veteran, this woman I’m so very proud of, if you haven’t already guessed, is my daughter. Strong, determined and now with a family of her own, she continues to make me proud. Thank you, Shannon. Happy Veterans Day.

This column has made the rounds over the years since it was first penned in 1993 by Chicago Tribune columnist Mike Royko (1932-1997), but it’s just as poignant today. And while I didn’t always agree with him, I think Mike was right on target here.

I just phoned six friends and asked them what they will be doing on Monday.

They all said the same thing: working.

Me, too.

There is something else we share. We are all military veterans.

And there is a third thing we have in common. We are not employees of the federal government, state government, county government, municipal government, the Postal Service, the courts, banks, or S & Ls, and we don’t teach school.

If we did, we would be among the many millions of people who will spend Monday goofing off.

Which is why it is about time Congress revised the ridiculous terms of Veterans Day as a national holiday.

The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor all veterans.

So how does this country honor them?

By letting the veterans, the majority of whom work in the private sector, spend the day at their jobs so they can pay taxes that permit millions of non-veterans to get paid for doing nothing.

As my friend Harry put it:

“First I went through basic training. Then infantry school. Then I got on a crowded, stinking troop ship that took 23 days to get from San Francisco to Japan. We went through a storm that had 90 percent of the guys on the ship throwing up for a week.

“Then I rode a beat-up transport plane from Japan to Korea, and it almost went down in the drink. I think the pilot was drunk.

“When I got to Korea, I was lucky. The war ended seven months after I got there, and I didn’t kill anybody and nobody killed me.

“But it was still a miserable experience. Then when my tour was over, I got on another troop ship and it took 21 stinking days to cross the Pacific.

“When I got home on leave, one of the older guys at the neighborhood bar — he was a World War II vet — told me I was a ——head because we didn’t win, we only got a tie.

“So now on Veterans Day I get up in the morning and go down to the office and work.

“You know what my nephew does? He sleeps in. That’s because he works for the state.

“And do you know what he did during the Vietnam War? He ducked the draft by getting a job teaching at an inner-city school.

“Now, is that a raw deal or what?”

Of course that’s a raw deal. So I propose that the members of Congress revise Veterans Day to provide the following:

- All veterans — and only veterans — should have the day off from work. It doesn’t matter if they were combat heroes or stateside clerk-typists.

- Anybody who went through basic training and was awakened before dawn by a red-neck drill sergeant who bellowed: “Drop your whatsis and grab your socks and fall out on the road,” is entitled.

- Those veterans who wish to march in parades, make speeches or listen to speeches can do so. But for those who don’t, all local gambling laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to enlisted men’s club prices, Officers can pay the going rate, the stiffs.

- All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct, non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and disgusting public behavior that does not harm another individual.

- It will be a treasonable offense for any spouse or live-in girlfriend (or boyfriend, if it applies) to utter the dreaded words: “What time will you be home tonight?”

- Anyone caught posing as a veteran will be required to eat a triple portion of chipped beef on toast, with Spam on the side, and spend the day watching a chaplain present a color-slide presentation on the horrors of VD.

- Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the opportunity to serve in the military, but didn’t, will be allowed to make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his office for the entire day.

Any politician who defies this ban will be required to spend 12 hours wearing headphones and listening to tapes of President Clinton explaining his deferments.

Now, deal the cards and pass the tequila.

Mike Royko

Amen, Mike. And for the record, just about every veteran I know is working today, too!

Whether or not you have today off, I hope you take a minute to thank the veterans you know for their service. And if you’re a veteran yourself: Thank you.

Formerly called Armistice Day, Veterans Day is the day America commemorates the contributions of those who have served in its military. It falls on the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended the First World War. All major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice. The day is celebrated elsewhere in the world as Remembrance Day.

Today we salute America’s 25 million living Veterans and join the rest of the nation in remembering their sacrifice and thank them for their service to our country. There will be parades, including one in downtown Sacramento and, at 11:00AM, the parade will stop where it stands, Taps will be played, and all will observe two minutes of silence.

Take two minutes… It’s a pittance of time.

Here’s another tribute to our veterans, this one apparently by a student at Kuna High School for a Veterans Day assembly…

As a veteran of the Viet Nam War, I am proud to stand beside the brave men and women that now serve and have served our country in time of need. To all our veterans, thank you. The Republic is well served. And as long as we find men and women willing to do the hard, dirty work - there will be a Republic.

Today marks the 232nd anniversary of our U.S. Marine Corps Larry P. sent this nicely done PowerPoint slideshow to honor their proud heritage (requires MS PowerPoint):

To the Few. The Proud. The United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi.

One of the best and most enjoyable storage sites for photographers is Flickr, and one of its best features is image pools. For example, there are more than 1400 images submitted by some 500 photographers pooled into a collection called Faces in Places. I’ve thumbnailed a few below just to give you a taste, but the point is, if we choose to look for them, there are “faces” all around us - in nature, in public and in places only you can imagine. Take some time and browse a little. You may get some ideas for “faces” you can photograph yourself!

This week’s “flyby” is a follow-up to an earlier post featuring Loïc Jean-Albert, this one perhaps more extreme than the first. I won’t go into what base jumping and wingsuits are all about; they’re explained in the earlier post. I will reiterate, however, that this isn’t “flying” in the true sense of the word. It’s more “controlled free falling.”

Albert’s answer to a question early in this clip explains what drives base jumping wingsuit flyers: “We get a little bored…” They’re adrenaline junkies, always needing to push the envelope for an ever greater rush.

Enjoy the ride!

Whadaya know, another survey concludes that women wash their hands before leaving restrooms more often than men. Can that really be true?

Apparently, according to results of the latest Hand Washing Survey, released recently at a scientific meeting in Chicago by the American Society for Microbiology and the Soap and Detergent Association. The survey found that although 89% of men claim in a telephone poll to wash their hands every time they use a public bathroom, only 66% were seen doing so. The survey found that women outwash men but also overstate their cleanliness: While 96% say they always wash their hands in a public restroom, 88% of women were actually seen doing so.

The research is based on reports from investigators with Harris Interactive who were deployed to hang around public bathrooms, trying to look inconspicuous while covertly counting how many people washed up. In all, 6,076 people were observed, 3,065 men and 3,011 women, in bathrooms at six sites: Turner Field in Atlanta; the Museum of Science and Industry and Shedd Aquarium in Chicago; Penn Station and Grand Central Terminal in New York, and the Ferry Terminal Farmers Market in San Francisco. Link

So you think your job is bad? Wanna bet it’s the new guys at Harris that pull this disgusting duty?

Which leads me to this unrelated but curiously interesting photo I got from Perr-Bear. I don’t know its origin, but if I were a betting man (and I am) I’d say this is a social experiment in Japan or China aimed at encouraging men to wash their hands more often after using the facility. Like many similar ideas from our Asian neighbors, I doubt this one will work, at least here in the States. (Hmmmm…Maybe San Francisco…) Think about it; the idea is to get clean, but… Well, you get the idea.

Dawn and I visited Superman Jacob last evening and I’m happy to report that he seems to be recovering nicely from his accident. The biggest problem: He’s a 6-year-old boy, and a rambunctious one at that! He’s supposed to take it easy, rest, keep his arm elevated. But that’s all easier said than done for an active superhero!

Dawn and I drove straight from the office to Rick and Kim’s house, so we picked up pizza on the way since Eric, one of Chris’ friends, was staying over and we knew everyone would be hungry. And we brought pirate and Superman helium balloons along with some things to occupy Jacob during his convalescence - a microscope and a collection of magnets - things he could enjoy while resting on the couch. Yeah, right! Like that’s going to happen! Rick and Kim certainly have their hands full!

After dinner, we caught up with Rick who’s been working out of town so much lately we don’t see enough of him. We visited and chatted over dessert; everyone, that is, except Jacob who was constantly on the move. The evening concluded with a fashion parade of Jacob’s extensive mask collection. Oh, and Superman’s lost his two upper front teeth! Both were loose and ready to come out so the anesthesiologist finished the job at the hospital. The tooth fairy left him $20; times have sure changed since I was a kid! Here are a few snapshots (click on the thumbnails to enlarge) we grabbed with Dawn’s iPhone:

Hey, wait a minute! That last photo isn’t Jacob! It’s… It’s… Grandma Dawn!

My brother, Ken, emailed me an image entitled “Human Statue of Liberty” the other day that fascinated me enough to do some research into the photographer who created it. Here’s what I learned:

Arthur S. Mole (1889-1983) was a British-born commercial photographer who worked in Zion, Illinois, just north of Chicago. During and shortly after World War I, he traveled with his choreographic collaborator and partner, John D. Thomas, from one military camp to another posing thousands of soldiers to form gigantic patriotic symbols that they photographed from above. Mole called them “living photographs.” From the photographer’s perspective, the emblems were brought to life by means of the living soldiers who embodied them.

The formations depicted such images as the Statue of Liberty (click to enlarge), the Liberty Bell, the Marine Corps emblem and a portrait of President Woodrow Wilson. The Statue of Liberty portrait, for example, was formed using 18,000 officers and men at Camp Dodge, Iowa, and stretched over 750 feet. The photo was apparently intended to help promote the sale of war bonds but  never used. Note the way spatial depth and perspective are defied - there are twice as many men in the flame of the torch as in the entire rest of the design!

Mole and Thomas spent a week or more preparing for these immense works which were taken from a 70-80 foot tower with an 11X14 inch view camera. They began by tracing the desired image on a ground-glass plate mounted on Mole’s camera. Using a megaphone, body language and a long pole with a white flag tied to the end to point to the more remote areas where the bulk of the troops would be stationed, Mole would then position his helpers on the field as they nailed the pattern to the ground with miles of lace edging. In this way, Mole also figured out the exact number of troops required. These steps were preliminary to the many hours required to assemble and position the troops on the day of shooting.

According to a July 3, 1986, story in the Fort Dodge Messenger, “On a stifling July day in 1918, 18,000 officers and soldiers posed as Lady Liberty on the parade grounds at Camp Dodge. … Many men fainted - they were dressed in woolen uniforms - as the temperature neared 105 degrees Fahrenheit.”

The monumentality of this project somewhat overshadows the philanthropic magnanimity of the artists themselves. Instead of prospering from the sale of the images produced, the artists donated the entire income derived to the families of the returning soldiers and to this country’s efforts to rebuild their lives as a part of the re-entry process.

When the demand for these photographs dropped in the 1920s, Mole returned to his photography business in Zion. But many examples of his patriotic photographs in true perspective still exist. Mole and Thomas images are in the collections of the Chicago Historical Society, the Museum of Modern Art and the Library of Congress.

This comes from Mike…

Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife, Mary, to the hardware store to buy one. At the hardware store, Mary noticed a beautiful faucet on a top shelf while she was waiting for Walt, the manager, to finish waiting on another customer.

When Walt was finished, Mary asked, “How much for the faucet?”

“That’s pewter and it costs $300,” Walt replied.

“My goodness, that’s a lot of money for a faucet!” Mary exclaimed. Clearly disappointed, she went on to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy and Walt went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Walt yelled, “Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?”

“No,” replied Mary, “but I will for the faucet…”

There’s a moral here somewhere but it escapes me…

Remember the Free Hugs Campaign? I posted an article about it on the AFP website last year when this video, viewed more than 19 million times, first hit YouTube. Since then, Juan Mann (not his real name) and his campaign to bring hugs to everyone has spread around the globe, with “hug” videos from several other countries now on YouTube.

So I thought it would be fun, a year later, to revisit the video that helped kick-start the movement. Give it a watch. It’s entertaining and, in a strange way, inspiring. I suspect John Lennon fans, especially, will enjoy it. The music is by Sick Puppies.

I guess it proves what just “Juan Mann” can accomplish if he markets his message effectively.

Yesterday afternoon was pretty scary. Jacob, our six-year-old grandson (and part-time Superman) fell off the monkey bars at a park near his home and broke his arm. It was one of the worst compound fractures I’ve seen, broken in two places leaving his arm in a sort of “S” shape.

There was lots of blood, often the case with compound fractures, and he was in tremendous pain. The Fire Department responded quickly and Jacob was rushed by ambulance to Methodist Hospital where we waited for what seemed like an eternity for the orthopedic surgeon to arrive. Dawn took this iPhone image during the wait (click to enlarge.)

There aren’t many things that tear at your heart more than seeing your child or grandchild hurt. But Jacob is such a little soldier! His biggest concern, aside from the pain, was that the firemen, the first responders, had cut away his favorite “pirate” shirt! (Oh yeah, besides being Superman, he’s a pirate!)

The surgery took more than an hour, twice what the surgeon had originally estimated. There was difficulty realigning the bones, and an artery ruptured when the tourniquet was removed. The surgeon “capped” the artery and had to use a screw to reconnect one of the broken bones.

We all waited in a designated “lounge” for word of how the surgery had gone. The anesthesiologist joined us first to tell us how complex everything had been but that all had gone well. He said that the first thing Jacob had said when he awoke was, “They cut my pirate shirt!”

The surgeon brought X-rays and an assortment of ultrasound images showing how the fracture had looked before surgery and how the repair looked afterward. He said he had never before had to insert a screw on a child, but this was a particularly difficult situation. He left the ultrasound images with Jacob’s parents; I’m sure he’ll enjoy showing them to his friends.

When they rolled him down from surgery on the way to his room (they kept him overnight) he was in much better spirits. And when the nurse told us that Jacob had said he planned to be a fireman some day, he corrected her and said he now wants to be a doctor! We all told him we could certainly use one in the family!

Rick, Jacob’s dad, spent the night at the hospital with him and if things go as planned, they’ll be taking him home sometime this afternoon. Dawn and I will visit this evening after work.

Keep the little guy in your thoughts and prayers. I’ll try to keep you all posted on Superman’s Jacob’s recovery.