My wonderful wife acts as my clipping service, something I appreciate and always enjoy because she’s been including cartoons lately to lighten the load. This is yesterdays “installment.” Those of you that know her know she has an iPhone that I like to borrow. So I guess that makes me Dilbert in this scenario…

Those of you living in the Sacramento area are probably familiar with Apple Hill, an association of small working ranches, farms and wineries just off Highway 50 near Placerville. From March to December, but especially during the fall season, thousands of locals visit more than fifty small ranches to buy apples, enjoy delicious fruit pies, drink home made apple cider, picnic and relish a step back in time to a simpler life many of us remember with fondness. There are even Christmas Tree farms!

So, as we try to do at least once every year, Dawn and I made the short drive up the hill this passed Columbus Day. The weather was perfect, everything was in bloom — it was a beautiful day! Dawn had decided we would alter our usual route and visit some of the farms we’ve missed on previous trips. And she’d done a little research into a rare treat that had somehow eluded us all these years — apple cider donuts! According to her research (on her iPhone while I drove), the very best are those made fresh at Rainbow Orchards, so that was one of our first stops. Here’s the quote by Andy P. that led us there:

“Apple cider doughnuts from Rainbow Orchards. As you bite into one of these warm doughnuts, while smelling the subtle aroma of wood smoke from the cabins and homes in the area wafting down through the pines of the mountains, an incredibly pleasant, indelible memory will be created; a memory that your subconscious will beg for you to re-create year after year.”

Our verdict? Oh my God, they’re delicious! Probably the best donuts we’ve ever tasted! The secret, we concluded, is to get them hot, the minute they’re made if possible. What an amazing discovery! Other farms offer these guilty pleasures; I’m told Abel’s Apple Acres, on the main road and perhaps easier to find, offers donuts just as good. If you do nothing else in Apple Hill, you must try these heavenly delights!

We shopped for gifts, bought some jams and other condiments and, naturally, picked up a fresh apple-strawberry-rhubarb pie. There was even a scarecrow contest featuring creations by local Scout troops! We finished at Primus Vineyards, one of our local favorites, enjoyed some barrel tasting and took home a little wine. It was a wonderfully relaxing day.

We’d brought our cameras so we snapped several images as we meandered through farm country; I’ve posted some of them in an album for your perusal and enjoyment. As always, your constructive comments are welcome.

If you’ve never visited Apple Hill, there’s still time this season and it’s well worth the short drive from Sacramento. Maybe we’ll see you there — in the apple cider donut line at Rainbow Orchards or Abel’s!

1 Elephant, Medium Size
2 Rabbits (Optional)
Salt & Pepper to taste
Brown Gravy

Cut elephant into small bite-sized pieces. This should take about two months.

Add enough brown gravy to cover.

Cook over a hot fire for about four weeks.

Recipe serves 3800. If more are expected, two rabbits may be added, but do this only if absolutely necessary as some people are offended if they find a hare in their stew.

Ah, sleeping in on Saturday mornings, waking slowly, maybe a little snuggle time with wifey before starting the day. Wonderful, yes? Of course, that’s all a distant memory for us, something we enjoyed “B.C.” — before cats.

If you have one or more of the little furballs at your house, I’m sure you can relate to this video I received from Carolyn at the office. It’s right on and had us howling! See if you agree…

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Sleep in if you can.

This is an older video, circa 2003 I believe, showing Loïc Jean-Albert in a wingsuit “flying” down a mountain in Verbier, Switzerland at about 15 feet above the surface, literally a “human glider.”

Wingsuit flying is the art of flying the human body through the air using a special jumpsuit, called a wingsuit, that shapes the human body into an airfoil which can create lift. The wingsuit creates the airfoil shape with fabric sewn between the legs and under the arms. A wingsuit can be flown from any point that provides sufficient altitude to glide through the air, such as skydiving aircraft or BASE jumping exit points. The flier will deploy a parachute at a planned altitude and unzip the arm wings so they can reach up to the parachute control toggles and fly to a normal skydiving or BASE jumping landing.

The wingsuit doesn’t actually allow one to “fly”, at least not in the traditional sense of the word. While the “flyer” does have some directional control, he (or she) cannot gain or maintain altitude. Make no mistake, he’s still falling. Fast. The sport is apparently an offshoot of traditional skydiving adding an even greater adrenalin rush. It may also have some basis in the 1969 Burt Lancaster film, The Gypsy Moths in which a group of barnstorming skydivers employs a “wingsuit” of sorts with disastrous results.

You may have read a few months ago that Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. is mulling over the idea of opening smaller stores — as small as 20,000 sf or about one tenth the size of its supercenters, to be called “Neighborhood Markets” — as a means of penetrating urban markets and jump-starting growth. (Article)

No surprise, since big-box stores have reached a point of saturation, encountering greater resistance from smaller communities who see them as eyesores that squash competition and force neighborhood stores out of business. Many communities have become increasingly aggressive in their fight against megastores and some, as shown in the photo below, have taken creative steps to express their anger when one is built in their neighborhood…

Shannan sent this…

A blonde is trying unsuccessfully to sell her old car but no one’s  interested once they learn it has more than 250,000 miles on it. Frustrated, she explains her dilemma to a friend.

The friend confides in a whisper, “I know a way to make your car easier to sell… but it’s not legal.”

“That’s okay,” whispers the blonde. “I really need to sell it before it dies!”

“Okay,” whispers the friend. “Here’s the address of a friend of mine who owns an auto repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he’ll fix the problem. Your car should sell easily once he’s done with it.”

So the blonde visits the mechanic and, about a month later, runs into her friend at the market. “So did you sell your car?” the friend asks.

“No,” replies the blonde. “Why should I? It’s only got 50,000 miles on it!”

I ran across an article I’d written and posted on my AFP website last year about “Friday the Thirteenth” and thought I’d share with you some of what I learned about the subject. At least a few of you, I’m sure, believe that day to be unlucky while others of you believe it to be nothing more than superstitious folklore. Regardless, it is what it is and, right or wrong, some folks take it quite seriously. Here are a few factoids:

A Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the globe. The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia. (Say that three times quickly!) All months whose first day falls on a Sunday will contain a Friday the 13th. (Didn’t know that, did you!)

The first recorded incident relating to Friday the 13th refers to the massacre of the Knights Templar on Friday, October 13, 1307. Pope Clement V viewed the Templar as a threat, so he decreed that they be eliminated. The Vatican was not directly involved in the massacre, but rather acted through King Philip IV of France. Philip sent letters to his forces all over the country with instructions to seek out and arrest all known members of the Knights, slaughter those that resisted, and capture Jacques DeMolay, the last known Grand Master of the Knights Templar.

Another possible origin relates to the Last Supper. Judas, the thirteenth guest, was instrumental in the Crucifixion of Jesus, which is believed to have happened on a Friday. Other theories suggest that Eve offered the apple to Adam on a Friday or the slaying of Abel happened on a Friday.

Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they’re simply unable to get out of bed when Friday the 13th rolls around. The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute estimates that more than 17 million people are affected by a fear of this day. A British Medical Journal study has shown that there is a significant increase in traffic related accidents on Friday the 13ths. (Despite that, representatives for both Delta and Continental Airlines say that their airlines don’t suffer from any noticeable drop in travel on those Fridays.)

An interesting side note: In the Spanish-speaking world, it is Tuesday the 13th (as well as Tuesdays in general) that brings bad luck; a Spanish proverb reads, “En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques.” (On Tuesday, neither get married nor start a journey.)

Those of you who believe in this sort of thing will be relieved to know that 2007’s two occurrence of Friday the Thirteenth have already come and gone. 2008 will have just one — in June. But watch out in 2009 which has three — February, March and November! The chart on the right will help remind you which days to stay in bed, at least during the current 28 year cycle.

So, is Friday the thirteenth really unlucky or is this belief just a hangover from the time when the patriarchal, male-centered religion of Christianity was trying to differentiate itself from and destroy its ancient, pagan, goddess-loving competitors? Decide for yourself. You can learn more about Friday the thirteenth here, here and here. And no, none of the preceding material was sourced from Dan Brown’s fictional novel The Da Vinci Code. No, not the movie, either. Really.

Okay, taking a wild swing at making up for Monday’s pun (or piling it on, depending on your point of view), I offer the following story:

A pregnant woman from Orange County is involved in an automobile accident and falls into a deep coma. She finally emerges from the coma after six months and immediately notices that she is no longer pregnant.

“Oh my God,” she screams. “Where is my baby?”

Rushing to her side, the doctor explains, “Ma’am, you had twins, a boy and a girl! Your brother flew down from Redding and named them for you.”

The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother! He’s an idiot!” Tentatively, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s my daughter’s name?”

“Denise,” the doctor replies.

“Well, that’s a lovely name!” she says, relieved. “And my son’s name?”

“Denephew…”

Here’s grandson Dakota’s report card (click to enlarge) for the first trimester — all “A”s with a “B” in Advanced Algebra. We’re all extremely proud of him!

And did I mention he set a new school record last week in Cross Country? We’re all pretty proud of him for that, too!

Way to go, ‘Kota! Keep this up and you’ll be choosing between colleges and adding up scholarships and grants!

(Hey, I’m a Grandpa so I have bragging rights!)

Shannon sends this warning about a new virus (actually, it’s a variant of the Storm Worm; see my September 2007 post) using emailed e-card notifications instructing you to click on an enclosed URL link to retrieve the card, supposedly from a family member:

“A wave of malicious messages […] sent out in June 2007 employed that very technique, arriving in inboxes bearing subject lines such as ‘You’ve received a postcard from a family member!’ The messages contain URLs that recipients are supposed to visit to retrieve their e-cards, but those URLs actually point to servers hosting a variety of malware (including a variant of the Storm Trojan, “an aggressive piece of malware that has been hijacking computers to serve as attacker bots” since early 2007) that is furtively installed onto victims’ PCs. (Generally, only unpatched Windows-based systems are vulnerable.) […]” (Link)

The Storm Worm is proving to be a most difficult critter to eradicate. There are ways to protect yourself, though. The most obvious, of course, is not to follow the email’s URL links. Instead, go to the actual card site and enter the supposed URL link to retrieve your card. At worst, they’ll tell you there isn’t one. Follow the suggestions and links in my September post. And there’s more info (technical) on the McAfee site.

It’s Monday and I almost forgot to post a pun. So, against better judgment and common sense, here goes…

I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway, contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car. It seemed fairly tame, and I soon became fascinated watching it up close as it strutted around and made cooing noises.

A few minutes passed and two more pigeons flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by crowds and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my hood!

After a while, I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get my attention, which was unnerving since I had always regarded pigeons as rather stupid birds. But, sure enough, several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood while several others were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood.

Suddenly I realized what they were doing. I yanked open the door and, waving my arms wildly, chased them all off. No way was I going to allow myself to be pigeon towed!

Still undecided about which Presidential candidate to support? Davey sent this short quiz designed to find out which candidates are most aligned with your views and opinions.

Based on the original Select a Candidate Survey (link) developed by Minnesota Public Radio, the quiz isn’t meant to pick your candidate for you. Rather, it’s designed to inform the public of the various stances candidates make.

According to the directions, you may skip questions if you don’t want them factored into the results. And the results, while not scientific, may surprise you. My top candidate, for example, is one I know absolutely nothing about!

It was the Columbus Day weekend, so Dawn and I joined friends Michael & Sisko and Doug & Candy and headed off to Las Vegas to celebrate Sisko’s birthday. It was a “big one” so Michael had arranged for her to drive an Indy-style race car on the Las Vegas Motor Speedway, a long-time fantasy. We were all invited to be part of the event and I brought along my camera to photograph it all.

Needless to say, Dawn and I took lots of photos, too many for one album, so I’ve divided some of my favorites into two groups. The first album, linked to this post, contains images taken in the hotel (Paris) and along the strip; at the Wynn where we enjoyed 6th row center seats for Spamalot, a hilarious musical based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail; and at dinner after the race as guests of friend Doug Roberts at Lowery’s Prime Rib. The next post will link to images taken at Las Vegas Motor Speedway before, during and after Sisko’s 143 mph streak around the track!

Well, I decided to take it off the site, at least for the time being. I’ve been coasting along as Sacramento’s #4 site (#3 for one voting period) but, unless my readership takes a sudden unexpected leap, it doesn’t look like I’ll overtake the top two or three sites for some time. Besides, I found it a little self-promoting; what started as a couple of friendly wagers (which I won, thank you very much) led to regularly “checking my stats,” something I abhor.

So it’s gone. Thanks to all of you who voted and helped catapult this site to its lofty heights, no easy feat when you consider there were 109 sites in the running. I’ll continue providing content that reflects my eclectic interests and, hopefully, those of my readers. And please feel free to comment. I enjoy the feedback.