Looking for a children’s book as a last minute stocking stuffer for conservative little Billy this Christmas? Well, here’s a novel idea: Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed! Yes, it’s a real children’s book apparently aimed at teaching youngsters the value of hard work and the evil of taxes. I’m serious. No, really.

Dawn pointed me to this. She’d heard the song on one of our local country stations (I’d re-programmed the radio in her car) and told me I had to hear it. It was written and produced by The Song Trust (Rory Feek and Tim Johnson) and sung by a six-year-old in Nashville who says she doesn’t want to be famous. It’s a poignant reminder that there are still troops serving away from home and that they and their families are sacrificing much this Christmas.

You can purchase a copy of the song and know that half of all profits goes to St. Judes Children’s Hospital.

…several times, in fact. I wasn’t going to say anything about the experience, but I have to tell someone so I can get on with my life!

First it was my cousin, Mike. Then Frank. Teddy hit me the same day. And then Kerri and Gary! And Candy and her friend. Even my brudda-from-anudda-mudda, Michael, and his missus, Sisko, elfed both Dawn and me!

I’m sure Office Max is getting a nice ride from the viral advertising. Pretty clever campaign.

Click on any elf and watch our “elfing” by Michael and Sisko. They even elfed themselves! That’s Dawn and me in the #2 and #4 slots.

My favorite illustrator, John Cox, came up with this illustration that echoes, I think, public sentiment. Many believe we are abandoning our nation’s manufacturing roots in favor of becoming a country that makes nothing and buys everything from abroad but likes to think we’ll be dominant in the development of technology (with any related manufacturing, of course, being outsourced offshore.) Whew! Long sentence!

I think we’re deluding ourselves. We could regain our dominance in manufacturer if we simply uncoupled ourselves from trade unions. Why can’t we compete in auto manufacturing, even against Japanese auto makers who manufacture cars right here in the U.S.A.? Because the Japanese car makers are exempt from our trade unions. Not a level playing field, is it. But what are we doing about it? Nothing.

Anyway, I thought John’s illustration was particularly poignant at this time of year when we’re concerned about unsafe toys from China. Fisher-Price, Mattel - many of this country’s major toy manufacturers - have outsourced the manufacturing of their toys to China, and quality and safety have suffered. Not too many years ago, Americans wouldn’t have accepted poor quality. But we’ve become “sheeple,” too lazy to control our own government. I hope we come to our senses.

My daughter, Shannon, is especially mindful of which products she buys for my grandson, Connor. So much has been reported in the media about lead-based paint on toys, choking hazards, magnets, fabrics that lack fire-retardant qualities and other unsafe products being imported from China that one would think our government had by now taken the necessary steps to protect our children from potential harm. Yet we continue to discover more unsafe products reaching our stores and ultimately our homes. Adding to parents’ frustration is buying toys not listed on any recall list only to find them later recalled.

So why didn’t our government immediately place an embargo on imports from China, at least until they could prove to us that they were safe? Well, the answer lies entwined in the whole “world market” and “free trade” concepts to which our government seems so deeply committed. And there doesn’t seem to be any rush to slow that runaway train. So it’s up to us to protect ourselves. In the end, I suppose everything is up to us, isn’t it?

Shannon points to an article that may offer some help and asked that I share it here. It includes links to ToysMadeInAmerica, a site providing 136 links to other sites purported to sell only toys made in America, and howtobuyamerican which offers information about how to buy other products reported to be made in America. And for a self-reported list of products made in Europe, visit moolka or maukilo, two online retailers that boast an extensive selection of European-made products for children of all ages, including a variety of jewelry.

If you’ve checked the CPSC’s recall list but are concerned that toys deemed safe today may be subsequently recalled, long after your child has played with them, then buying “Made in America” may be your best protection.

This comes from Mike…

“Help! I’m trying to find out before Xmas which Sears sells this mirror!”

Mike, I know your lovely wife and I think she’ll hit you over the head with a honey-cured ham if she sees this. Good luck!

I’d planned on penning something about why I love Christmas this morning but, with last minute shopping looming, I doubt I’ll find time. So I’ve grabbed another video, this one from James and apparently created by someone in Russia - I didn’t get all the pertinent details - about Santa and the Three Little Pigs.

It seems somehow wrong to follow Josh Groban with pigs but, like I said, it’s Christmas shopping crunch time for me. So without further ado, I give you…

I’ll take solace in knowing that buried deeply - very, very deeply - within the story lies a moral of some kind.

Christmas is a magical time of the year, especially for children. We all have wonderful childhood memories of Christmases long past and, as parents, we were again filled with wonder and magic through the eyes of our own children. Well, it’s Christmas season once again and magic fills the air. Do you feel it?

If you saw the movie Polar Express, you’ll recognize this song, beautifully performed live at the Greek by Josh Groban. It allows us, once again, to see Christmas through the eyes of children… if we just believe.

This video was produced using a technology called Spc X Drive II XD Coded Sound, designed to enhance the audio quality of the video and defeat the usual “tinny” sound associated with heavily compressed live performance recordings. It sounds best with a sub-woofer.

This one’s from Mike…

One beautiful December evening, Pedro and his girlfriend, Rosita, were sitting on the beach enjoying the waves gently caressing the sand just beyond their bare feet. The moon was full and romantic, and a soft, warm breeze caressed their skin. As they gazed at the countless stars, Pedro whispered, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu!”

Oh no, not now, Pedro, let’s look at the moon!” Rosita said with a slight grin.

“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you an’ me do Weeweechu!” Pedro persisted. I love you and it’s the perfect time.”

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon,” Rosita teased.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me,” begged Pedro.

Rosita smiled shyly at Pedro and whispered, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro leaned over and carefully and tenderly grabbed his guitar and they both sang…”

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!”

The End. Now get your minds out of the gutter!

Remember doo wop? Then you’ll enjoy this fun Joshua Held Flash animation featuring Irving Berlin’s Christmas classic, White Christmas, performed by Bill Pinckney (Santa) and The Drifters (reindeer).

Click to play

You’ve all heard that well worn quotation but I’d wager few of you remember its origin. Well, it delights me to so inform you, faithful readers, by way of an article from the editorial page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, Sept. 21, 1897:

“Dear Editor — I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, ‘If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.’ Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON
115 W. 95th St.
New York, N.Y.”

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds.

All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!

You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus.

The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond.

Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

See how much you can learn reading IM?

Via Grouchy Old Cripple…

‘Tis the season, so here goes…

Jane was traveling to Vancouver for the Christmas holiday. Knowing how the winter weather can be in British Columbia, and lacking the appropriate clothing for inclement weather, she went to a local outdoor emporium to get outfitted. When she was unable to find what she needed, a salesman finally suggested that she try Rudolph’s.

“Rudolph’s?” Janet asked. “You mean the Russian specialty store?”

To which the salesman replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain gear…”

While Christmas shopping at a local toy store, Barry came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As he scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Wally, waiting with all the others. Knowing that Wally had no daughters or young relatives, Barry figured that Wally must like the dolls himself.

“Wally, I didn’t know you were a collector!”

“I’m not,” Wally replied.

“Then why are you standing in this long line?”

“Well, I’ve never been able to resist a barbie queue..”

A guy goes into his dentist’s office because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, “Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has almost completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?”

“Well, the only thing I can think of is my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it - Hollandaise sauce she called it - and doctor, I’m talkin’ DELICIOUS! I’ve never tasted anything like it! Ever since then I’ve been putting it on everything - meat, fish, toast, vegetables - you name it!”

“That’s probably it,” replies the dentist. “Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice which is acidic and highly corrosive. I’ll have to install a new plate but, this time, I’ll make it out of chrome.”

“Why chrome?” the man asks.

“Well, everyone knows there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise…”

Steve Imbesi, one of my scuba diving buddies, sent me this Christmas poem a year or two ago. It circulates via email around this time every year, usually incorrectly attributed. It’s a wonderful poem by Michael Marks that deserves another read by us all.

A SOLDIER’S CHRISTMAS by Michael Marks

The embers glowed softly and, in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
my daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white
transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe,
completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
secure and surrounded by love I would sleep
in perfect contentment, or so it would seem.
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream. …

Continue reading

This video should help ignite your Christmas spirit. It features the original members of Straight No Chaser, Indiana University’s premier men’s a cappella group, performing their comedic version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” at the Musical Arts Center in Bloomington, Indiana, December 7th, 1998. Since its founding in 1996, the group has performed at universities and auditoriums all across the country.