Got this from several readers…

You’ve all listened to and watched the news footage of the whacko angry Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush during a press conference Sunday, and probably wondered why the Secret Service—the guys charged with protecting the President, even taking a bullet for him should the need arise—was conspicuously late to the party. Here are ten questions we’d all like to ask the Secret Service, compliments of Jon Friedman:

1. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that shoe?


2. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that second shoe?


3. Second shoe = the one thrown after being removed from foot after first shoe was thrown…


4. Let’s say people had three feet. Would you have allowed a third shoe to fly unimpeded?


5. While the shoe was in the air, were you like, “Oh, its just a shoe.”


6. Same question about the second shoe.


7. Do you think this is funny: “Throw a shoe at me once, shame on—you. Throw a shoe—you throw a shoe, you can’t throw a shoe again.”


8. Is there not “protection training” for lunatics launching objects?


9. Let’s say there isn’t training for that—but do they tell you that if someone does throw (or shoot) something to be on the alert in case they want to repeat this behavior?


10. Where were you?

If any of you hear from the Secret Service or think you know the answers to any of these burning questions, please share.

Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

And then there’s this from cranium…

Tell me again… When will all these holiday bailouts start working?

This encore presentation of one of last year’s popular video posts should help ignite your Christmas spirit. It features the original members of Straight No Chaser, Indiana University’s premier men’s a cappella group, performing their comedic version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” at the Musical Arts Center in Bloomington, Indiana, December 7th, 1998. Since its founding in 1996, the group has performed at universities and auditoriums all across the country.

As promised last week, here’s another of Simon Tofield’s “Simon’s Cat” video series. (If you missed the first two episodes, you can view “Cat Man Do” and “TV Dinner” in previous posts. Those of you owned by cats will enjoy them all.

I posted this last year but it’s been popular enough for an encore…

One beautiful December evening, Pedro and his girlfriend, Rosita, were sitting on the beach enjoying the waves gently caressing the sand just beyond their bare feet. The moon was full and romantic, and a soft, warm breeze caressed their skin. As they gazed at the countless stars, Pedro whispered, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu!”

“Oh no, not now, Pedro, let’s look at the moon!” Rosita said with a slight grin.

“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you an’ me do Weeweechu!” Pedro persisted. I love you and it’s the perfect time.”

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon,” Rosita teased.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me,” begged Pedro.

Rosita smiled shyly at Pedro and whispered, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro leaned over and carefully and tenderly grabbed his guitar and they both sang…”

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!”

The End. Now get your minds out of the gutter!

Got this from cousin Mike…

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and began catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 but, as the supply began to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

So the man announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But again, as the supply diminished even further, the villagers returned to their farms.

When the offer was increased to $25 each, the supply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even find one, let alone catch it!

So the man announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each, adding that, since he had to go to the city on business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In his absence, the assistant told the villagers, “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 each and, when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.” The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for $700 Billion. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of the federal Wall Street bailout.

If you’ve never enjoyed a “living” Christmas tree, you might want to consider it. The idea is that, by buying a living tree for your home and then planting it after the holidays, you’re not only “saving a tree,” you’re helping landscape your yard. Some of us, though, shy away from decorating green because we think it’s too much work or we’re not sure how to plant the thing once we remove all the ornaments.

Granted, a living tree is heavy, what with the root ball and all. Lugging it into and out of the house takes some ingenuity and maybe a couple strong friends. But the big question remains, “How do you plant a Christmas tree?” Well, don’t fret. Here’s a primer from the good folks at Growing Wisdom:

Remember Simon Tofield’s hilarious animated ‘toon, “Cat-Man-Do”? I posted it last year and helped contribute to its more than 5 million views on YouTube. Well, he’s added a couple more along with a line of “Simon’s Cat” t-shirts. I still think the first film was the funniest, but if you have cats, I know you’ll recognize yours in all of them. Here’s one you’re bound to appreciate. I’ll post another next week, and expect a brand new one by Christmas.

Got this from Denny who says, “They look fake to me.”

Harley Davidson motorcycles are as American as apple pie, a part of our culture. Noted for their unique engine sound and retro styling, they have risen from near bankruptcy in the 80’s to a vibrant and profitable company.

To maintain growth, Harley has been trying to enter the Indian market but, with import tariffs nearly doubling the cost of the bikes to Indian customers, entry into that market has been a tough nut to crack. But India recently agreed to allow Harleys to be sold through dealers rather than directly to wealthy Indian consumers, a step in the right direction.

Some speculate it’s only a matter of time before exports to India become a reality. And once Harley establishes an Indian presence, look for the company to move toward manufacturing in that country. Some components are already being purchased from India so it wouldn’t be a huge leap. However, some loyal Harley enthusiasts fear that complete outsourcing might follow and that an Indian made Harley just wouldn’t be the same.

That concern led to the creation of this humorous PowerPoint illustration I received from my cousin Mike. Click on the image (requires MS PowerPoint or compatible presentation software and speakers) and follow the instructions. It’s a 2.2 Mb file, so allow ample time for it to download.

‘Tis the season and I’m getting 200-300 views a day of one of last year’s Christmas posts!

Remember doo wop? Then you’ll enjoy this fun Joshua Held Flash animation from Mike featuring Irving Berlin’s Christmas classic, White Christmas.

“Santa” is the late Bill Pinckney and “the reindeer” are The Drifters. Rather than post it again, I thought I’d just link back to the original for readers that missed it the first time around. Requires Flash Player. Enjoy!

I’m a beta tester for extranormal, a site that enables people to make primitive animated movies. Like this one…

Silly, I know, but you can see what fun can be had making them. You pick your characters and setting - these are co-workers in an office - then type your dialogue. The characters act and speak your script. I’ll post more as I get time and, uh, inspiration.

Michael sent me this Application For Federal Bailout Program from Vanity Fair (Lord knows I could sure use one!) in response to Thursday’s post and I thought I’d share it with readers.

Maybe if enough of us apply, Hank Paulson and the boys on the Hill will be moved to grant a bailout for us poor taxpayers.

Of course, the rub will be deciding who’ll pay for it. Maybe Wall Street, once they clean up their act with the $700 Billion we sent them.

That would be fair, don’t you think? We scratched their backs, now they can scratch ours?

Yeah, right. Fat chance.

Anyway, here’s the form (click to enlarge). Paulson has his pen and checkbook ready. Hurry while supplies last.