Making my point from yesterday’s post, Davey sends this satirical ‘toon about the continuing Michael Vick saga…

Our temps of late remind me of what I dislike about Sacramento summers; they’re too damn hot! Seems like we’ve suffered more than our share of 100+ degree days this month with more to come. We’re having “Flex Alerts,” and our office HVAC system was even down this morning. (Thank goodness they got it up in relatively short order.) Anyway, here’s the Sacramento forecast for the next few days…

Yup, sunny and hot.

We Americans often manage to put a humorous spin on events completely lacking in humor. And while I’m the first to laugh at good satirical humor, let’s not lose sight of the issue currently involving Michael Vick. Ever see a “professional” dog fight? “Gypsy” has. Click on the photo on the right for a closer look. And some people still think dog fighting is no big deal?

I’ve been following the Michael Vick story - so have you if you’ve read a paper or watched TV - and had decided not to comment, at least until the dust settles. But with his recent confession, I feel obliged to speculate on where the case might end up.

Let me first say that I abhor animal cruelty in any form and especially the so-called “sport” of training dogs to try to kill one another on command for the enjoyment of betting spectators. It’s a felony and Vick has finally admitted to his involvement in it. Everyone, with the possible exception of some die-hard Falcons fans, agrees that he should be punished. But we appear to be a divided camp, with one side contending that his not insignificant loss of income from endorsements is adequate punishment, and the other believing that he should face formal sanctions like anyone else similarly charged, that the courtroom should be a place that considers only the facts of the case with sentences based on that alone. I stand squarely in the latter camp.

So now that Vick has “confessed” and shown “contrition,” what’s next? Well, we’ll likely endure the usual public teary “apologies” followed by an obligatory appearance on Oprah where Vick will blubber how sorry he is, how he’s now found Jesus, and how he hopes people will forgive him for his “mistake.” Perhaps a probing interview by Larry King will follow, and maybe a book about how he followed the wrong path, found salvation and enlightenment, and established a foundation or two to help “under privileged” children learn to do the right thing. Eventually, folks will forget about Michael Vick’s evil deeds and, if he’s still young enough to play football after serving his sentence, another team will pick him up.

Some apparently feel he should be banned from the NFL. Sorry, but that’s going too far in my opinion. I don’t believe in taking away a man’s millstone. If he serves his time and if anyone will hire him to play or offer him endorsement contracts (pretty big “ifs” right now), then fine. Neuter him? Ban him from the NFL? That would be unreasonable punishment.

As a side note, I’m often amazed and sometimes appalled at how some people manage to find ways to make a quick buck off other folk’s troubles. To wit: The Official “Vick’s” Dog Chew Toy and chewed up Michael Vick memorabilia being offered on eBay. Only in America.

“Welcome to breathtaking Tokyo Water Park where you can wash away the pressure and stress of the overcrowded city and relax with your friends in the soothing enjoyment of sun, fun and splashing.”

Yes folks, that’s the official Park slogan. I already feel more relaxed just looking at the photo, don’t you?

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A New York divorce lawyer dies and arrives at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him, “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”

The lawyer thinks a moment, then replies, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”

Saint Peter asks Gabriel to check this out in the record and, after a moment, Gabriel affirms that it is true.

Saint Peter says, “Well , that’s all well and good, but it’s hardly enough to get you into Heaven.”

The lawyer quickly responds, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave another homeless person a quarter.”

Saint Peter nods to Gabriel who, after a moment, nods back affirming this, too, has been verified.

Saint Peter then whispers to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gives the lawyer a sidelong glance, then whispers to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

I suppose you’ve all had a chance to chuckle (wonder?) at Caitlin Upton’s convoluted answer to her pageant question (see yesterday’s post) - half of the top vids on YouTube are either of her, about her or making fun of her.

LiveScience has compiled an interesting list of “History’s Top 10 Most Overlooked Mysteries“ which includes:

Lost City of Helike

Greek writer Pausanias gave an account of how, in one night, a crushing earthquake destroyed the city of Helike, followed by a massive tsunami that swept away what remained of the once-flourishing metropolis. The Achaean league capital was a worship center devoted to earth shaker and God of the sea, Poseidon. No trace of the legendary society existed outside of ancient Greek texts until 1861 when an archeologist found Helike loot - a bronze coin with the unmistakable head of Poseidon. In 2001, a pair of archeologists located the ruins of Helike beneath mud and gravel and is currently trying to uncover the rise and demise of what some consider the “real” Atlantis.

Who Was Robin Hood?

The existence of a forest-dwelling altruistic bandit might seem more plausible then a legendary king with a magical sword. However, the hunt for the real-life Robin Hood has turned up entire scrolls of suspects. For example, candidates include a fugitive in Yorkshire by the name of Robert Hod, who went by Hobbehod as well as a Robert Hood of Wakefield. The growing list of names is further complicated as the name “Robin Hood” soon became synonymous with being an outlaw as in the case of William Le Fevre who’s surname was later changed to RobeHod, according to medieval court records. His possible identity gets cloudier as later authors of the tales wove more characters such as Prince John and Richard the Lionheart into the story.

Some of these have been the subject of television specials; all are interesting and worth a read.

“Honey, do I look fat?”

Listen, guys, at some point all women ask this question. The correct answer, of course, is “Certainly not, dear.” But here, compliments of Frank, are a few examples  of things you should not, under any circumstances, reply:

• “No, not to Stevie Wonder.”

• “Does this tie make me look stupid?”

• “No habla Ingles.”

• “If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won.”

• “Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity.”

• “Let me jog around to your front and take a look.”

• “No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains.”

This is an old one. I think it came from Michael…

King Arthur’s castle was under attack by a fearsome dragon, so he called for his best knight to slay the creature. But all of the horses were frightened; the best mount they could find was an old, arthritic, one-eyed Great Dane.

King Arthur looked at the dog and announced that he would kill the dragon himself because… “I wouldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this!”

Apparently one of the most watched videos this weekend, Miss Teen USA South Carolina demonstrates, well, you decide…

I found this quiz on Noah’s new blog. He has a feeble 69% chance of survival. He probably can make a Molotov cocktail - they’re a Finnish invention, after all - but he may lack the all-important baseball bat! Anyway, take the quiz. You can never be too prepared…

75%

Note: The misplacement of the percent figure is apparently within Mingle’s source code. It’s nothing I can fix.

It’s almost impossible to grasp, and yet my third child is all grown up with a family of her own. Where did all the years go? I grabbed a few random photos from a CD archive of family photos that Steve and I compiled last year — there are so many more — and I was amazed at how the little girl standing on the table at Farrel’s Ice Cream Parlor on Freeport Boulevard grew into a woman who served her country, pursued a career at Federal Express, married, and is now raising a family of her own. It’s all happened much too fast…

“Part-time A/C repairman, Nick Webb rolls through the city’s underbelly, scratching it and making it belch.”

When I posted John Cox’s  Detective Frank Pound comic panel last month, I figured he might be branching out in a new direction. So when I saw this Nick Webb cover art, I at first thought he might be considering writing a pulp novel. But it occurs to me now that he’s simply demonstrating just how full his quiver of artistic skills really is. If I was developing a writing project right now, I’d be approaching John to illustrate it.  I might start out something like this:

“I polished off the last of the Old Crow, left the empty bottle on my desk and headed for Gilhooley’s Pub two floors below. Counting the last of the 43 stairs, I sensed movement in the shadows and turned just as the hulking figure lunged. The blow caught me off guard and my knees buckled. As he moved in again, I hit him low, bending him forward clutching his groin. A swift kick sent his teeth cascading like marbles falling on a sidewalk. I crushed his head like a soft cantaloupe and watched him drop to the floor like a bag of rotten potatoes. Probably one of Ficetti’s goons, I thought.

Wiping the trickle of blood from my swollen lower lip, I swung through the back door into Gilhooley’s. Dark and smoky, the familiar pungent smell of  cheap booze and cheap women filled my nostrils. I found a corner table away from the bar and motioned to Gilhooley for a bottle. Then I saw her…”

Yeah, I used to love Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer novels.

The Zoomquilt II art collaboration was created using Flash (free download if you don’t already have it) and defies description. It appears to be 88 layers “quilted” together to help form the continuing zoom effect, and then looped. I found myself saying “Wow!” several times. The subject is a little grotesque and it’s a little long but the art form is impressive. Sit back and give it a watch. I won’t spoil the ending…