Michael Ramirez penned this editorial cartoon for Inverstors Business Daily that sums up, in some respects, the difficulty Israel faces in dealing with Hamas.

Yet I’m amazed at the way the conflict is portrayed in the media. The rockets being fired daily into Israel are small, they report, only killing a few Israelis at a time, while Israel is (finally) fighting back with bigger rockets. No fair! Yet Hamas keeps firing their rockets, hoping to win the propaganda war.

As I drive past the State Capitol each day, I see the moonbats marching around with their signs protesting Israel’s “aggression”. And the Sacramento Bee obediently “reports” their message. I suspect if Hamas was shelling downtown Sacramento every day, the Bee would be whistling a different tune.

On second thought, probably not.

There’s no shortage of news about Bernie Madoff’s astounding Ponzi scheme through which he (allegedly) bilked a great many investors and charitable foundations out of billions of dollars. The fact that he is out on reduced bail and has used that freedom to send millions in jewelry to his children and write checks for a few billion more to friends and family is even more astounding. But what amazes me is how Congressional leaders are posturing about it. They’re appalled, they say. Something must be done, they promise. But wait. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?

For those few of you unfamiliar with how the Ponzi scheme works, it’s where a shyster takes in money from marks investors to “invest” for them, pockets it, produces spurious reports illustrating the stellar performance of the “fund’s” portfolio, gets more investors and uses some of the newly invested money to pay a few of the earlier investors, then continues the practice until he has a ton of money in his pocket. The portfolio, of course, is essentially worthless and he has all the money squirreled away in off shore accounts. Then he moves to an island somewhere in the Pacific or to a country without an extradition treaty with the U.S. and lives large. The trick is to keep the investors believing their investments are earning astounding returns while he collects more and more money from new investors. You’ve probably heard of Ponzi schemes, but Madoff’s may be one of the largest such frauds (ahem…alleged frauds) in history.

Or is it? Isn’t that exactly how our government has been operating our Social Security system?

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According to my wife and a couple close friends, this Randall Munroe ‘toon has me pegged…

I’ve been saving this image from James ‘til after the holidays. Well, it’s after the holidays, so…

Christmas may be over, but political gift giving continues…

In New York state, we are told that Caroline Kennedy is the favorite for Hillary Clinton’s soon-to-be-vacated Senate seat, and for the usual reasons of celebrity and money. Kennedy would have to run for election in 2010. Gov. David Paterson would also be on the ballot, as would New York’s other senator, Democrat Chuck Schumer.

On ABC’s “This Week With George Stephanopoulos,” Cokie Roberts explains that “her name and all that is going to work for the Democratic Party in New York, and that’s the calculation. … It’s not how great a senator she’s going to be.”

And Stephanopoulos adds, “They want someone else on the ballot with that star power who can raise the money.”

Would someone please draw a dark line of distinction between what we call a scandal in Illinois and business as usual in New York? Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is accused of trying to sell a vacant Senate seat, while New York Gov. Paterson is expected to give a Senate seat to the woman whose family can raise lots of money for his benefit.

In an utterly straight-faced editorial, The New York Times noted that Caroline has much going for her: “As a public figure, she carries the glamour and poignancy of her family, the only living child of President John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. Senator Edward M. Kennedy, an uncle of hers, has reigned for years as the liberal clarion in the Senate. Another uncle, the late Bobby Kennedy, was a charismatic senator who represented New York 40 years ago.”

Famous father? Powerful uncle? Another charismatic uncle? Welcome to 19th century Parma.

For a while, I thought that only “Saturday Night Live” could save us from this absurdity, but then Politico burst through the nonsense with the perfect headline: “Nepotism Nation: Dems embrace dynasty politics.” The story lumped Caroline in with plans to save Vice President-elect Joe Biden’s Delaware Senate seat for his son and to give Colorado Sen. Ken Salazar’s job to Salazar’s brother.

Makes Obama’s rise seem a total miracle. But that’s another story.

I’m getting a little tired of listening to Wall Street and the Big Three U.S. auto makers complaining about how tough they’ve got it. They’re getting loans and bailout bucks while the rest of us are getting passed the check. Frankly, I wouldn’t mind having a piece of that gilded retirement/health benefit plan the auto workers enjoy, especially sense we’ll be paying for a chunk of it.

Listen…Hear that? It’s the whine of the Fat Cats’ Big Machine sucking money out of our wallets to cover their losses. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing it. And I’ve got lots of old shoes.

You’ve all listened to and watched the news footage of the whacko angry Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush during a press conference Sunday, and probably wondered why the Secret Service—the guys charged with protecting the President, even taking a bullet for him should the need arise—was conspicuously late to the party. Here are ten questions we’d all like to ask the Secret Service, compliments of Jon Friedman:

1. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that shoe?


2. Shouldn’t you have jumped in front of that second shoe?


3. Second shoe = the one thrown after being removed from foot after first shoe was thrown…


4. Let’s say people had three feet. Would you have allowed a third shoe to fly unimpeded?


5. While the shoe was in the air, were you like, “Oh, its just a shoe.”


6. Same question about the second shoe.


7. Do you think this is funny: “Throw a shoe at me once, shame on—you. Throw a shoe—you throw a shoe, you can’t throw a shoe again.”


8. Is there not “protection training” for lunatics launching objects?


9. Let’s say there isn’t training for that—but do they tell you that if someone does throw (or shoot) something to be on the alert in case they want to repeat this behavior?


10. Where were you?

If any of you hear from the Secret Service or think you know the answers to any of these burning questions, please share.

Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

And then there’s this from cranium…

Tell me again… When will all these holiday bailouts start working?

Got this from cousin Mike…

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and began catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 but, as the supply began to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

So the man announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But again, as the supply diminished even further, the villagers returned to their farms.

When the offer was increased to $25 each, the supply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even find one, let alone catch it!

So the man announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each, adding that, since he had to go to the city on business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In his absence, the assistant told the villagers, “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 each and, when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.” The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for $700 Billion. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of the federal Wall Street bailout.

I’m a beta tester for extranormal, a site that enables people to make primitive animated movies. Like this one…

Silly, I know, but you can see what fun can be had making them. You pick your characters and setting - these are co-workers in an office - then type your dialogue. The characters act and speak your script. I’ll post more as I get time and, uh, inspiration.

Michael sent me this Application For Federal Bailout Program from Vanity Fair (Lord knows I could sure use one!) in response to Thursday’s post and I thought I’d share it with readers.

Maybe if enough of us apply, Hank Paulson and the boys on the Hill will be moved to grant a bailout for us poor taxpayers.

Of course, the rub will be deciding who’ll pay for it. Maybe Wall Street, once they clean up their act with the $700 Billion we sent them.

That would be fair, don’t you think? We scratched their backs, now they can scratch ours?

Yeah, right. Fat chance.

Anyway, here’s the form (click to enlarge). Paulson has his pen and checkbook ready. Hurry while supplies last.

The fire sale on government bailouts continues, with the Big 3 U.S. automakers the latest hopeful recipients. Chris Isidore’s article for CNNMoney.com talks about how our “givmint”, trying to appear due diligent as though watching out for already beleaguered taxpayers, is seeking a few symbolic sacrifices and assurances from automakers that the requested bailouts will “git ‘er done”.

What I want to know is how I can get on the “A” list for a bailout. I’ll promise to get rid of any corporate jets we might have, I’ve already taken a pay cut, and I promise that, with the help of, say, a puny $10 Billion, I’ll be profitable in three years immediately. So where do I sign up? Anybody?

Got this PSA from Mike and several others…

The Black Widow spider (Latrodectus variolus) is one of only a few poisonous spiders in the United States. It’s bite releases a neurotoxin into its victim that, if not treated, can lead to death.

After mating with a male, the female often sucks the life out of him (see spider cannibalism).

The female Black Widow is easily recognizable; she is black with a noticeably broad, bulbous backside and a bright red hourglass shaped marking on her underside.

Black Widows can be found in closets, wood piles, under beds, and

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Ted Stevens Loses his Senate Seat

Convicted felon Ted Stevens has lost his re-election bid for the Alaska Senate seat which he held for the last, oh, eleventy-hundred years. While in the Senate, Stevens gained notoriety for bringing home epic quantities of pork barrel projects, being convicted of a felony, and, how could we forget, comparing the Internet to a series of tubes during a debate on Net Neutrality legislation:

“They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.”

But now that Alaskans have routed him from office by a whopping 3,724 vote margin, we must now deal with the aftermath of his absence from the Senate.

The Internet is no longer a series of tubes.

Just as Alaska has moved on and found another Senator, we too must move on and find another ridiculously inaccurate characterization for the Internet. Help me out…continue reading