You’ll remember Tatiana, the Siberian tiger that escaped from its grotto at the San Francisco Zoo in December, killing one visitor and mauling two others. The incident led to sweeping changes in zoo habitats at the San Francisco Zoo and elsewhere. Well, Tatiana is back in the news, this time amid allegations that at the time of its escape the tiger may have been “grumpy” and more aggressive due to being underfed.

You can watch the story play out in the news, but it brought to mind an image I’d seen some time back at divinecarolyn. Part of a campaign by Calgary Zoo to promote its behind the scenes tour with the lions, the ad suggested a humorous (at least before the SF Zoo incident) view of zoo visitors “from the other side of the fence”.

The text reads, “Come face-to-face with the top of the food chain. Book a behind the scenes tour with the lions at CalgaryZoo.com”. Click on the image at left for a larger view.

As we approach Independence Day and prepare for our annual backyard barbecues and “safe” fireworks with the kids, many of us reminisce about the “good old days” when cherry bombs, bottle rockets and Roman candles were as much a part of the holiday as The Star Spangled Banner and Aunt Minnie’s Dutch apple pie. But most states outlawed them years ago to reduce injuries and fires. Replacing them are “snakes and sparklers” and assorted thingies that do little more than whistle and smoke.

Apparently, “real” fireworks are still available in Nevada (if they have whores, they’re bound to have serious fireworks, right?) but our Governor has begged Californians not to buy them this year. No wonder; we already have more than 1200 wildfires burning through our landscape, and firefighters have no idea when they’ll get them under control!

All of which reminded me of a classic scene in the movie Joe Dirt, a conversation between David Spade and Adam Beach…

Now, I’m not telling you what to do or not do, but I’m with Arnold on this, at least this year. How ‘bout forgetting the “real” fireworks? Go to a controlled fireworks show in your area instead. They’re bigger and better anyway, right?

You may remember various email hoaxes over the years claiming that cell phones could cook an egg and therefore were frying your brain while you used them. Well, a new version popped up May 28th in the form of YouTube videos purporting to demonstrate how cell phones can pop corn. I’ve received several emails from friends “alerting” me to the danger.

Sorry, folks, but all three videos were illusions produced by Cardo Systems, Inc., a provider of Bluetooth headsets, as part of a marketing campaign to - you guessed it - sell more headsets. Pretty clever, I suppose, but how was it done? Well, someone’s produced a video that purports to “expose” the hoax. The video on the left is one of the three produced by Cardo showing the corn “popping”, the one on the right by someone dismantling a microwave to demonstrate how the trick was conceivably accomplished. Kids, don’t try this at home.

A word of caution seems appropriate here. Cardo refers to their videos as “illusions” without explaining how they were accomplished. The video purporting to expose them was not produced by Cardo and could conceivably be a hoax itself. In any event, attempting to reproduce the illusion as shown in the second video would be, at the very least, dangerous. At worst, you could be electrocuted or burn your house down. Needless to say, I don’t recommend anyone try it.

You’ll be happy to know that the $6 million lawsuit filed by the New York City street performer known as Naked Cowboy against M&Ms candy maker Mars Inc can go forward on grounds of trademark infringement, a judge ruled on Monday.

Photo: Getty Images, nypost.com

Robert Burck — a fixture in Times Square for ten years, strumming his white guitar while dressed only in white cowboy boots and hat and tightie-whities — filed the suit in February over video billboards depicting a blue M&M dressed in his signature outfit. A U.S. District Court Judge denied a motion to dismiss the lawsuit, ruling that Burck may proceed with his false endorsement claim, “for he plausibly alleges that consumers seeing defendants’ advertisements would conclude — incorrectly — that he had endorsed M&M candy.”

Burck, who poses for photos with giggling tourists in return for dollars slipped into his boots, has trademarked his look and licensed his name and likeness to companies for endorsements and advertisements, including a Chevrolet commercial that appeared during a Super Bowl, the suit says. Read more…

Makes you wonder what Mars, and Chute Gerdeman Inc, their ad agency, were thinking. Still, it will be an uphill battle for the cowboy against Mars. Trademark laws seem to exist for big companies while little guys rarely get equal treatment. For example, in this case, the judge basically threw out Burck’s claim that his registered trademark had been infringed, saying that he might have a shot at claiming the M&M ad implied an endorsement, a foot in the door but a significantly diminished position.

But imagine if the roles were reversed. What if the cowboy had donned an M&M suit? Mars would have crushed him in court like a souvenir penny. And what if Mars had had their M&M wearing a Coke outfit? I rest my case. Trademark law offers an uneven — and unfair — playing field.

But good luck, Naked Cowboy. I hope, at the very least, you win a hefty endorsement fee.

Dawn and I enjoy watching “America’s Got Talent” and witnessing the birth of some amazing acts like Terry Fator and Bianca Ryan. Some of you may not be aware that the show is patterned after its counterpart, “Britain’s Got Talent”.

If you watched BGT last season, you’ll remember finalist Connie Talbot, the little six-year-old princess that captured everyone’s hearts with her version of Over the Rainbow. Following the competition, she recorded an album featuring some of her favorite songs. I’ve posted two, but you can hear more, including her new single, Three Little Birds, on Connie’s web site.

I have to admit that I’m a little disoriented; I’m talking about a recording artist, her album, her new single, her web site… and she’s only six!? But no matter; she’s definitely got talent!

From Frank…

“I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.” - George Carlin

A groundbreaking observational comedian and a flat-out great storyteller, George Carlin died yesterday of heart failure at age 71. Known for his edgy, provocative material, he was shocking, irreverent and hilarious, yet somehow made you question things you thought you knew.

The last vote that George Carlin said he cast in a presidential race was for George McGovern in 1972. And when Richard Nixon, who Carlin described as a member of a sub-species of humanity, overwhelmingly defeated McGovern, the comedian gave up on the political process.

But while he may have stopped voting in 1972, America’s most consistently savage social commentator for the better part of a half century didn’t give up on politics. He read the papers, followed the news, asked questions and turned it all into a running commentary that focused not so much on politics as on the ugly intersection of power and economics. He didn’t want Americans to get involved with the system; he wanted citizens to get angry enough to remake the system.

Needless to say, he was not on message for 2008’s “change we can believe in” election season. No, his was a darker and more serious take on the crisis and the change of consciousness — sweeping in scope and revolutionary in character— that was required to address it. Like the radicals of the early years of the 20th century whose politics he knew and respected, he believed that free-speech fights had to come first. He always pushed the limit, happily choosing an offensive word when a more polite one might have sufficed.

By 1972, the year he won the first of four Grammys for best comedy album, he had developed his most famous routine: “Seven Words (You Can’t Say on Television).” That summer, at a huge outdoor show in Milwaukee, he uttered all seven of them in public — and was promptly arrested for disturbing the peace. When a version of the routine was aired in 1973 on WBAI, the Pacifica Foundation radio station in New York, Pacifica received a citation from the FCC and was ordered to pay a fine for violating federal regulations prohibiting the broadcast of “obscene” language. The ensuing free-speech fight made its way to the U.S. Supreme Court which ruled 5-4 against the First Amendment to the Constitution, Pacifica and Carlin. Amusingly, especially to Carlin, a full transcript of the routine ended up in court documents associated with the case, F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, 438 U.S. 726 (1978).

There will, of course, be those who dismiss him as a remnant of the sixties who introduced obscenity to the public discourse — just as there will be those who misread his critique of the American political and economic systems as little more than verbal nihilism. In fact, George Carlin was, like the radicals of an earlier age, an idealist — and a patriot — of a deeper sort than is encountered very often these days.

Carlin explained himself best in one of his last interviews. “…I don’t consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word ‘cynic’ has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. ‘George, you’re cynical.’ Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know?”

This is a Patriot’s Journey post. You may also enjoy visiting the other journeyers: Drumwaster, Larry at The Bastage, the folks at The Line Is Here and Shortbus from The Edge of Reason…

It’s science but, given a level table and steady hands, you just might use it to win a few beers at the local pub…

Thanks James!

For the mathematicians among you…

If you’re in the Sacramento area tonight or tomorrow night, drop by The Wrangler in Elk Grove and catch these guys…

Listen to a track or two on their site; I especially like the cut, “Whiskey Dawn”…

The incandescent light bulb is a quintessential American invention, discovered by Thomas Edison more than 125 years ago, but its future seems to be fading to black amid an ever-greening society. As Americans become more environmentally conscious, consumers are being pushed to buy more earth friendly products including compact fluorescent lights, or CFLs, the latest help-the-planet issue du jour among concerned citizens.

At the federal level, President Bush signed an energy bill in December that, among other changes, will require all light bulbs sold in the United States by 2014 to be at least 70 percent more efficient than today. For those of you that haven’t already connected the dots, the mandate means that, without major improvements, incandescent bulbs will disappear from store shelves by 2014.

After Congress delivered its comprehensive energy bill to the White House in a Toyota Prius hybrid car, U.S. Rep. Jane Harman, a California Democrat, waxed poetic about light bulbs, noting that little had changed since Edison and his glass tube and filament. “When it comes to illumination,” Harman said, “we still live in a cave.”

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An oldie from Eleonore that deserves another run…

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton’s great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription:

“Remus Rodham, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1883, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times, caught by Pinkerton Detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889.”

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch:

“Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave in 1887 to resume his dealings with the railroad. He was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform on which he was standing collapsed.”

And that, folks, is how it’s done.

Oil prices are at record highs. The overwhelming dependence of our cars and trucks on oil strains family budgets, threatens our national security and contributes to global warming. Plug-in electric vehicles have the potential to significantly reduce the United States’ dependence on oil. Yet can this potential be realized? If so, how? Is there a national interest in putting millions of plug-in vehicles on the road soon? How should policymakers in Washington, D.C., respond?

On June 11 and 12, the Brookings Institution and Google.org hosted a conference titled “Plug-in Electric Vehicles 2008: What Role for Washington?” The conference placed a spotlight on plug-in electric vehicles, examining their potential, their viability, and the pros and cons of different federal policies to promote them.

Transcripts and videos will be posted on the site soon. Meanwhile, I’ve been checking into available electric cars as a possible replacement for my gas guzzling Range Rover. Honda’s Civic Hybrid delivers an estimated 45 mpg, but with a gallon of gasoline approaching $5, it’s not as attractive to me as it might have been when a gallon ran a mere $3.25. There are several concept electrics in the pipeline, but none seem quite ready for prime time. However, I think I’ve settled on this one…

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Following up on Monday’s post about the spread of airline add-on fees for everything from peanuts to baggage and aisle seats, U.S. airline Southwest is resisting the trend — and picking up a lot of extra business — by sticking to their business model. The airline ran this ad in the Wall Street Journal (click to enlarge):

It reads “Don’t #$*!% me over” followed by “Southwest is the only airline that accepts this coupon” and the clever tag line: “Fees don’t fly with us.” More   (Hat tip to Teddy and Billyum!)

Do men and women think alike? Well, that’s a no-brainer: Of course not. Although 99 percent of our genes are the same, that 1 percent makes all the difference, as neurologist Louann Brizendine explains in her book, The Female Brain (Morgan Road). A few nuggets adapted from the book:

• Although male brains are larger by about 9 percent, women have the same number of brain cells packed more densely into a smaller skull.

• A baby girl’s skills in eye contact and face studying improve more than 400 percent during the first three months of life. Making eye contact is “at the bottom of (the boy baby’s) list of interesting things to do.

• Men use about 7000 words a day, women about 20,000.

• Connecting through talking activates the pleasure centers of a girl’s brain…[providing] a major dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, fattest neurological reward can get outside of an orgasm.

• Oxytocin [the “love” hormone] is released in the brain after a 20-second hug from a partner—triggering the brain’s trust circuits.

• The sexual desire trigger for both genders is the androgen testosterone… men have on average ten to 100 times more testosterone than women.

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